Separating Fools From Their Money And Cracking The Rest Of Us Up

Last Updated on: 2nd February 2023, 09:10 am

If there’s anything the business world is good at, it’s creating problems that nobody has, convincing people that they have them and then selling them something useless with which to solve them.

Today’s example of this statement in action comes in the form of the EZ Cracker egg cracker and separator.

Yes, no more messy countertops, no more shells in your food, no more 20 bucks in your pocket and one more worthless piece of crap taking up space in your cupboard.

I can’t figure out who this is for. Unless you drink waaaaaay too much coffee or have some other kind of disorder that leaves you with unbelievable shakes, is cracking an egg on the counter and getting it from shell to pan/bowl really that difficult? I’m far from the world’s best cook, but even I can pull that off without making a shell sandwich or leaving chicken fetus juice all over the kitchen. Then again I’m also not the type of guy who can think of a good reason to buy me a nice big pack ofpre-boiled and pre-shelled eggseither, so perhaps I’m not their target market.

And am I forgetting a fundamental grammar lesson here or is the voiceover guy a complete goober? “Separating eggs are a hassle”? Wow! I guess the costs of engineering such an ingenious piece of technology really ate into the proofreading budget.

And while we’re here, here’s something I’ve always wondered about. What’s the deal with $19.95? Is there research to suggest that if a product such as this costs $20 it’s too expensive, but if it’s $19.94 you’re under-valuing it? Or is it, as I prefer to think, a subtle signal to people with a few remaining brain cells that “pssst, you don’t need this, it’s total shite”?

If anybody needs me, I’ll be chewing on some egg shells and pondering this question.

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