Beware Of JesusWeen

Last Updated on: 7th August 2019, 03:31 pm

Sometimes it may not seem so, but we really are a helpful lot of good-hearted people around here. And if there’s one thing that makes our good hearts sad, it’s nice people trying to have a good time having that good time ruined by the crappy, fun-sucking agendas of others. We may not be able to do much to stop it in this particular case, but at least we can use this platform of ours to warn you so that you’re aware of what you might be up against today.

If you’re taking the kids out trick-or-treating tonight or letting them go on their own, be on the lookout for preachy asshats possibly dressed in white handing out bibles and postcards who will try to convert you and your family to their way of life. Because clearly, nothing makes people more receptive to your message than ambushing them and forcing it on them like an in person telemarketer.

It’s called JesusWeen, and there’s apparently no way of knowing when you’re about to run smack into it which I guess is the point, but still.

A movement founded by a Calgary pastor is calling on Christians to forego the candy and costumes of Halloween and instead hand out Bibles to trick-or-treaters.

It’s called “JesusWeen” and hundreds of churches across Canada and the U.S. are expected to take part in the event described on jesusween.com as a Christian gift-giving festival. 

“JesusWeen is a non profit organization also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives,” the website says.

In addition to handing out Bibles, Christian post cards or tracts instead of treats, participants are encouraged to wear white as a symbol of purity. 

The event was founded by Calgary pastor Paul Ade in 2002 and has the ambitious expectation of becoming “the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that’s why we also call it ‘World Evangelism Day,'” the website states.

“This year we’re thinking it will be 400 churches all across Canada,” John Johnson, a spokesperson for the movement reached in Maryland, told CTVNews.ca.

In addition, he said at least 1,000 churches are expected to participate in the U.S. along with a handful in the U.K.

This year JesusWeen is focusing on the Canadian cities of Toronto, Calgary, and Edmonton, as well as the state of Maryland and the cities of Houston and Dallas in the U.S., and London in the U.K.

Yes, it was founded in Canada. I apologize on behalf of my country, world.

And I offer this next bit not because I condone or endorse it in any way, but as a warning since i’m nothing if not fair. If any of you JesusWeen people happen to stumble onto this page during a futile search for positive press or during an I need to find something to get angry about today session, I hope you like vandalism. Seriously. My guess is you like it about as much as the rest of us like strangers indoctrinating our children.

If you don’t like Haloween, that’s fine. You don’t have to take part. Turn your lights off so nobody comes to your door. It’s simple. You do what you like and leave the rest of us to our silly little costume party. You know, live and let live. If people want to become Christians, they will. We all know you exist, and we’ll find you if we need you. And if we don’t want to become Christians, we’ll do the decent thing and leave you to it. Why? Because it’s your thing and we don’t want to ruin it for you. Crazy concept, I know.