A Shocking Crime

Last Updated on: 28th April 2015, 02:25 pm

Here’s a post that most definitely needs itself a soundtrack.

36-Year-old Michael Harper has been sentenced to a year in prison for an attempted metal theft at a power substation in Leicester, England. But that’s small potatoes compared to the sentence of life long disfigurement he received while the crime was in progress.

Remember how your mom and dad used to always tell you to make sure you go to the bathroom before you head out? Well, either Harper’s family didn’t get around to imparting that life lesson or he’s a terrible listener. Whatever went wrong, he found himself faced with the when ya gotta go, ya gotta go reality at a most inopportune moment. Doing the only thing he could, he unzipped and let fly…right onto an electrical transformer.

2,000 Homes and businesses were left without power thanks to the subsequent explosion, and Harper was left burning on the floor by Richard Boyce, his ever so helpful accomplice.

for his part in the incident, Boyce was sentenced to 4 years. Not sure why the sentences were so much different, but perhaps there was a feeling that having his nuts grilled to a crisp was almost punishment enough for poor Mr. Harper.

There’s not a whole lot more I can say about this, so if anybody needs me, I’ll be wiping the tears out of my eyes and trying to pry my legs back open.