Big Plastic Gulp

You can tell I don’t spend much time in 7-Eleven, because until now I had no idea that they have plastic breakfast sandwiches on display there.

Neither, apparently, did this guy, who accidentally swiped two of them while trying to make off with the real thing.

Around 3 a.m. today, police report that a man went into the store and attempted to steal two breakfast sandwiches. However, he had inadvertently taken two plastic sandwiches, valued at more than $70 each.

No wonder this made news. I’ll bet those things are more valuable than the entire inventory of actual sandwiches. Probably healthier, too.

Once outside, the thief realized his mistake and threw one away but kept the other.

Why not? You’ve come this far. Might as well make sure you’ve got something to show for it, even if that something is a synthetic morning snack.

Police eventually located the thief at a hotel, where he willingly returned the remaining memento of his life of crime without incident.

The store manager decided not to press any charges since his sandwiches were returned unharmed. Whether or not the man managed to get himself a true convenience store breakfast was not reported. Perhaps he decided that escaping one brush with serious trouble was enough for the day and went on his way.