Little Seizures

Everything about this story Amanda sent us hurts my brain a little.

First, since when are you allowed to make calls using your own cell phone when you’ve been arrested? I’ll admit ignorance here because A: I’ve never been arrested and B: maybe the rules are different in Kentucky than they are in Canada. For our purposes we’ll go with C: Michael Harp was being processed by the most trusting police officers in the history of the universe, because that’s the only way I can get any of this to make any sense.

So with that established, let’s move on to the part that may or may not be worse. Honestly, I can’t decide.

Harp, having been given the gift of trust and/or sloppiness, decided to spend his good fortune and presumably his one phone call (unless that’s not true anymore either) on having 5 pizzas delivered to the police station under the name of his arresting officer. That’s what the police say he did anyhow, and really, what a silly thing to lie about if he didn’t.

Speaking of silly lies or at least what walks and quacks a lot like a duck that tells silly lies, Harp told a local TV station that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that 10 or so people used his phone. Let us ponder that a moment. You take advantage of some rather undeserved and possibly rule breaking trust from the authorities, and the best you can come up with when caught is well, I was passing my phone around a room full of accused criminals, so it could’ve been anybody? Yeesh. I’d toss you in jail just for that, had I the power.

As for the people who do have the power, they’re tossing him in jail or at least hoping to for theft of identity, theft by deception and impersonating a police officer in addition to the shoplifting charge that lead us to pizza day in the first place.