I Know He Said I Had The Right To Remain Silent, But You’re Just So Good!

I could have sworn I posted this one, but a decent enough look around tells me otherwise. So yeah, let’s be fixing that because this takes some serious balls…and wieners…and baby makers…and beer…and possibly drugs but we’re not really sure…and…absolutely no damn sense whatsoever. I mean, holy shit!

Husnik, who was on probation, was handcuffed and placed in the rear of a police cruiser. He was soon joined there by Basten, who was driving without a license and had a used syringe in her purse. Basten reportedly said that she “used to shoot up meth with it.”
While subsequently transporting the suspects, Deputy Adam Zahn “observed Travis lay onto of Heather in the backseat.” The cop then saw “Heather’s legs go up touching the ceiling and heard her begin to moan loudly.”
Zahn stopped the cruiser, opened the rear door, and saw “Travis onto of Heather having sexual intercourse.” The complaint does not indicate whether the lovebirds were handcuffed (though it seems likely).
Husnik’s pants and underwear were around his ankles and Basten’s shorts were “hiked up.” Which allowed Zahn to “see both of their privates,” the complaint notes.

Somebody really needs to tell officer Zahn that the word he’s going for has a P in it and that it’s actually not one word, it’s two. I get being in a hurry, but before a person is given the power to profoundly impact people’s lives in the way a police officer can, that person should have at least the most rudimentary understanding of the construction and utilization of words such as on and top.

But back to the matter at hand. Wow guys, wow. I just…I don’t even…A lot of people have ended up taking the long ride downtown with a buddy after a night that got a little out of control, but most of them, stupid as they may appear at the time, just leave it at that and come out the next morning perhaps as better people and with a story they can tell when next they hit the bar. Rare is the person (I hope at least) who can find himself sitting in the police car and think it a good idea to look at his companion and say you know, now would be a good time to get started on the next generation of jail buddies. And even more rare (please let it be more rare) is the person who, instead of punching that other rare fool and saying shut up, dude, says yeah, have at it, cowboy!

Travis Husnik was found guilty of lewd and lascivious conduct and was sentenced to 90 days in jail. Heather Basten pleaded guilty to charges of drunk driving and disorderly conduct. She was sentenced to just 48 days, but also ordered to pay fines and costs in the amount of $1236, because the sort of person who gets pulled over while drinking Busch Light and driving like an idiot and then lets some guy plant her in a cop car is well known for having that kind of money.