Why you would not only feel compelled to piss and shit in a box of security tags behind the counter at Kmart but then actually go ahead and do it is a mystery for somebody else to unravel, but what I would like to know is why, once you have determined that the above must take place, you would pick a Kmart where you shop regularly and then leave your name with the people at the customer service desk because you went in to return something?
Melissa Jacobson, 49, was busted Monday night after she allegedly slipped behind a cash register at the Racine business and urinated and
defecated in a box full of store security tags.
At the time of her arrest, Jacobson was wearing a shirt with a picture of a dump truck and the phrase “Dropping A Load,” a cop noted.
Alerted by a “funky” odor, an unfortunate Kmart employee discovered the soiled cardboard box, which was leaking urine, according to a misdemeanor criminal complaint filed yesterday against Jacobson.
If I wasn’t going to post this before (I think I was), that shirt put it over the top. Where would one even obtain such a garment and more importantly, why? Well, unless it’s her official I’m gonna go shit in a box outfit. that seems logical.
Jacobson, who was at least nice enough to clean herself up afterwards with some paper towels she found underneath the counter, was charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of resisting or obstructing an officer.
I don’t know why I get so many goofy ideas from this story. First all I could think was “Attention K-Mart Ploppers.” followed by “Was she looking for the courtesy desk or a courtesy flush?” followed by the obvious “Eeeeeewwwwww!”
I’m perfectly content with what I came up with, but attention Kmart ploppers would have been a great title.