Mama Told Me Not To Cum

Anthony Smith may be a lot of things, but a rule breaker is not one of them. Well…sort of.

The 21-year-old Florida man’s mother instituted a no porn in the house rule, according to reports. So, determined to follow it, police and Smith himself say he took it outside.

Two people shortly after 1 p.m. said they saw Smith standing in his yard. He had no clothes on and was masturbating.
When a sheriff’s lieutenant pulled up, he noticed Smith “bending down naked in the driveway.”
“The suspect then stood up and ran back to his home next door,” the affidavit states.
He went inside and got dressed.
He told deputies his mother won’t let him watch pornography in the house. He said he walks around naked outside and hopes someone sees him, saying it’s a “high.”

He was charged with exposure of sexual organs, which I think is just a snazzier way of saying indecent exposure.