Gill has a question. I’m not going to answer it myself since complaining about shit is one of the reasons this place exists and anything that’s already happened has likely been covered, but the rest of you can feel free to have at it.
Do you have pet peeves, or things that make you just want to dump a glass of ice water on someone? Of course, everyone does. If you have a disability you might have some of these potato boilers as I call them.
In Someone Else’s Shoes
One day I was talking to a friend of mine, and he asked what my pet peeves were. I told him that I hate when people assume:
- That I know or want to hang out with their blind cousin.
- That I don’t wash frequently, and bring bed bugs.
- That because I’m blind it’s ok to say something like “wow! Your smart` in a tone that means “you don’t have brain damage? I thought all blind people did.”
- That I always have someone with me.
- That it’s ok to violate me with out asking. E.G. if I’m standing minding my own business at the street corner don’t just grab me!
He thought about it for a moment and before I get to his I must give background. My friend was born in Cambodia in 1979 during the reign of The Khmer Rouge. At three weeks old a bomb hit his home leaving him with severe burns to 70% of his body and traumatic brain injury. Here’s what he considered his potato boilers.
- When someone suggests that it’s a good idea for him to go kill himself to end his pain.
- That he’s Chinese, even though some relatives of his came from there hundreds of years ago, he self identifies as Cambodian.
- That his mom could give a good pedicure, come on people it’s 2017 let’s be civilized here!
- That one or both of his parents committed horrible sins and that’s why he is the way he is.
- That he can’t speak English very well.
My challenge for you is to tell me some of your potato boilers {pet peeves} let’s start a discussion.
On second thought, I am going to answer this.
One of us may have mentioned it at some point, but one thing that really does annoy me is the difference in the way Carin and I are treated while being blind in public. Yes, we both get our share of unwanted manhandling and awkward conversation, but what she is subjected to is on a different level. A lot of this, I think, has to do with me being a decent-sized man whereas she is a small girl. People are constantly talking down to her like she’s a child or touching her in ways that you would not touch a “normal” person unless you’re in a relationship or perhaps work in the entertainment business. Worse yet, a lot of these people will discount what she says or seemingly ignore her entirely…even if they’re the ones who asked her a question. The ones that really get me are the times when we’re together. It’s obviously not everybody in the world, but people will literally treat me like a competent person who knows what he’s doing while speaking to Carin like she’s five and maybe shouldn’t be wandering around alone. Keep in mind that we’re asking the same question because we’re together and in need of the same thing/answering the same person’s query about how we manage to even exist with such massive afflictions let alone go out for a hamburger.
Let’s leave aside for a moment that Carin is probably smarter than everyone in your group put together. She deserves respect for that, but she would deserve it even if she wasn’t. Is it really that hard to treat a person like a person? Are dignity and respect really as difficult as some people make them seem?
Yeah it gives me a complex because I wonder what I’ve done to encourage this. From what I can tell, nothing, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering.
What you’ve done is be small, disabled and female all at once. You really should stop that.