Movie Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Yes, they really did make that Baby Shark TV show. And yes, I did watch the entire episode I embedded up there.

It was…fine…I guess. I’ve definitely seen better, but I’m sure I’ve seen worse. The thing had it’s moments. A little joke here or there that I could softly chuckle at, that sad song about the missing tooth was amusing to a degree, and I even learned about a new fish. My biggest complaint, honestly, is constantly being reminded of the damn Baby Shark song. If they aren’t singing it, they’re almost always running instrumental music in the background designed to ensure that it’s never far from your mind. Yes, I know that’s kind of the point. But it makes it so much harder to watch than it needs to be for anyone over the age of like six.

The bottom line is that the 12 minutes to which I was exposed today was plenty, and that if there is one thing I absolutely do not need, it’s an hour and a half of it on a loop.

The movie, first reported by Deadline, was announced Tuesday by Brian Robbins, the chief content officer for movies and family entertainment at Paramount+ as part of the ViacomCBS Investors Event. The content is being co-produced by Nickelodeon Animation and the Pinkfong Company.
Baby Shark, performed by Pinkfong, first hit YouTube in June of 2016 and became an instant sensation. The song, which gets inside your head and doesn’t leave no matter what you do, has over 10 billion views on the video platform, making it the most popular YouTube video ever.
There’s no word yet on what the Baby Shark movie will entail, nor how many times you’ll have to hear that damn song stretched out over what we assume will be 70-90 grueling minutes.

It’s scheduled for release in 2023, so at least you’ve got time to prepare yourself. Not enough, but some.