I’m Not Joe Biden, And Someone Approved This Message For Me

Last Updated on: 19th July 2024, 08:13 pm

Since the AI boom or whatever this actually is got started, I have come up with exactly three good uses for the technology. Here they are, in no particular order.

  1. Giving people who are losing their ability to speak a chance to preserve their voices if they’d like.
  2. Helping advance scientific research by analyzing data on a scale that humans can’t.
  3. Describing pictures to blind people.

The list of awful uses for it is, of course, much longer than that. And to that list we can now add using it to smooth out Joe Biden because the public is too shallow and stupid to understand good policy that doesn’t look and sound exactly right.

Joe Biden is old and has had a lifelong stutter. He acknowledged in a fiery rally following his debate performance: “I might not walk as easily or talk as smoothly as I used to.” This has impeded his ability to communicate with mass audiences with consistent success. AI augmentations and video renderings could serve to smooth out these bumps while allowing the Biden campaign to effectively disseminate true information about the state of our democracy and the Biden administration’s accomplishments. The president has limited time to campaign as he also focuses on running the country, and AI would be a cost-effective and efficient way to communicate his message personally and directly to voters.

Despite an ambitious and widely praised first term in office, he is currently trailing in polls to a man who incited an insurrection and was recently convicted on 34 felony counts. Something needs to change, and much to the chagrin of West Wing fanatics in the beltway, it won’t be the Democrats’ 2024 nominee. Modern technology offers a clear solution. AI can be used to polish how the president comes across, allowing voters to focus on his substance. How many times have we heard voters and pundits alike gripe that “Biden would be the perfect candidate if he were just 10 years younger?” With modern technology, this exact deliverable is possible.

Um…uh…er…yeah…no.

Shockingly, and I mean that sincerely, Kaivan Shroff (the author of this piece) doesn’t seem to work for an AI company. I had to Google that, because normally when you encounter something as ridiculous as this it’s pretty obvious where it’s coming from and why.

It’s ridiculous for all kinds of reasons, but one sticks out to me immediately.

Let’s say that using an AI Biden to craft campaign messaging is a thing that anyone should actually do. And let’s say that maybe it even works a little. What happens when he has to speak live? He’s still the president. He’s everywhere. Meeting with other politicians, talking to reporters, giving speeches, greeting regular folks. You can’t AI your way out of all of that, and a lot of it is going to be on video. That video is going to be seen, often by millions of people. And when it is, you’re right back where you started. The same old man has the same shortcomings, and now not only does he have those, but his campaign has a completely preventable credibility problem.

And don’t even get me started on putting generated by AI disclaimers on whatever the campaign produces. The moment I figure out that something that shouldn’t be is generated by AI, one thing happens. I don’t trust it. Make that two things, because I also resent it. Maybe I’m a naive fool, but I still feel like there are a few reasonable people left out there and that they feel the same way. If you’re trying to make your guy look like the honest one, that’s not the reaction you want.

And speaking of reactions you don’t want, if your goal is to convince me that AI is the answer, maybe sound less like a Republican talking about guns.

The use of AI renderings in political campaigns is becoming increasingly common, and the Republican Party has already embraced this technology and is using AI in their attack ads against the president. Instead of a race to the bottom, the Biden campaign could consider an ethical way to deploy the same tools. I have no doubt that should Trump reenter the White House, AI will be weaponized to generate MAGA propaganda. Just as the Obama White House missed an opportunity to demonstrate appropriate use of platforms like Twitter, failing to properly engage with advanced technologies will not stop their abuse and misuse by bad actors who follow.
Biden’s campaign could instead set the standard and norms for what should be reasonable use of AI tools in the campaign arena.

The only way to stop a bad guy with AI is a good guy with AI.

Yes, the threat of Trump is real. I understand feeling desperate. But this is 100 percent the wrong kind of desperate measure. The right thing to do is still what it’s always been. Put the focus on Trump and the rest of them. Much of their agenda is, despite appearances to the contrary sometimes, deeply unpopular. Make them run on it. Also, run on yours. There’s data that says things are better than they were under Republican control. Highlight that. And if you must de-emphasize Biden some, have others talk about him and the good the Democrats have done and will continue to do.

Will it work? I don’t know, obviously. But it’s a better option than trying to out Trump Trump and taking the risk of alienating voters who still find that sort of blatant dishonesty gross.

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