Last Updated on: 10th September 2024, 12:18 pm
I have breaking news, everyone. The orangutan that got out of its enclosure at the Toronto Zoo this week did not escape. It merely “accessed an area just outside of its habitat.”
Phew! That was close!
The oddest part about that sentence is that there were no quotes around it until I put them there, which means a reporter and editor made a conscious choice to write something that sounds like it came straight out of a public relations handbook.
It reminds me of a time back in school when a kid nearly drowned in the swimming pool. It was pretty serious, but you wouldn’t know that based on the assembly that was called to discuss it. While there, we were told that the boy had swallowed some water and was helped out of the pool. Technically correct I suppose, but if the goal was to get us to take water safety seriously, you probably should have mentioned the part where he was rescued unresponsive from the bottom. Softening the language like that was extremely unhelpful, and there were lots of people after the fact joking about it. Most of those people were kids, who are often much smarter than adults give them credit for being.
My point here is please, stop complicating everything. If something is simple, it’s simple. The more words you use, the more suspicious we get. That’s exactly what happened with the kid in the pool. When they weren’t joking about it, people were busy wondering what might be getting covered up. That’s not what you want.
I don’t know if I’ve posted this George Carlin bit before, but even if I have, I think we need it again. It’s as relevant now as it was in the 80s.