We’d Call It A Honk ‘N’ Bonk, But Pedestrians Can’t Honk. That’s Why This Is Their Fault

Last Updated on: 9th October 2024, 06:02 pm

I don’t know if this one is the fault of the police or the media, but I’m going to guess it’s the police because the media tends to just go ahead and regurgitate whatever silly ass language the police put in their press releases without bothering to think about it.

When you hear the words “pedestrian collision”, what comes to mind? If you’re me, you’re picturing two people on a sidewalk or crossing the street bumping into each other, probably because at least one of them was too busy staring into his phone to pay the fuck attention. I picture that because that makes sense, but according to police, that’s not what it means anymore. To them, “pedestrian collision” now means fella got pasted by a truck, and that irritates me.

When two of the same thing collide, we call it what it is. We don’t use the term “car collision” (at least I don’t think we do), but you’ll often hear that two vehicles collided. Or if a car hits something else, we’re told, for instance, that a car collided with a hydro pole. But it’s never called a “pole collision”.

So why, in these cases, have we started A: being intentionally misleading and B: specifically going out of our way to make it sound like we’re blaming the pedestrian regardless of whether or not the blame is his? It sounds like the police are shaming him for recklessly not being in a car while getting hit as though it’s something they can ticket him for.

When did it become wrong to say that a pedestrian was hit by a vehicle at an intersection? Or if you can prove that the same guy who walked into me on the sidewalk a minute ago was still too busy staring into his phone to pay the fuck attention, that a pedestrian walked into the path of an oncoming vehicle? Both are more accurate, not to mention that they treat the situation with the sort of seriousness that it might deserve.

I realize I’m asking a lot here, wanting my police to talk like normal human beings. I should use my time more wisely. Instead of sitting here whistling into the goddamn wind, maybe I should do something productive like commit a person on person robbery, whatever the hell one of those is.