Last Updated on: 15th December 2024, 09:22 pm
Since I mentioned “Get Low”, it made me think of this parody by Young Jeffrey called “Don’t Go”, which would be me if I ever went to the club now. Well, just all the stuff about everything being too expensive and loud and gross and crowded and feeling old and stuff. Peeing by the dumpster would be friggin weird. And at least I’m not the only one who struggles to find their Uber…I just have the extra wrinkle of them driving off when they see the dog, or maybe taking anyone but me.
Ug. This thing has no captions and it needs them. And I don’t trust myself to write them all out without getting something wrong, especially at a couple of middle parts. Here is my best attempt. Feel free to tune me up.
Lady’s and Gentleman, if you’re going out tonight, you’ve gotta lower those expectations! We’re gonna have an average ok time! Let’s pregame this!
Friday night, clubbin’ time, before we can go in we gotta wait in line,
move slow, move slow, move slow, wait mo’, wait mo’, wait mo’, wait mo’
From the sidewalk, (from the sidewalk)
to the rope! (to the rope)
We’re gonna stand down in that cold,(cold)
’til all these females froze, (froze)
’til we all freeze freeze on the corner, (on the corner)
’til we all freeze freeze goddamn! (goddamn)
Can we move please please a little faster? (faster)
Can we move please please goddamn?! (goddamn)
I’m at the do, show my ID, pay 15 dollars for the entry fee…that’s fine.
I get inside, where the guy to girl ratio is way too high.
Hopin’ to meet some girls tonight,
spot a cutey over there I like.
Right now I’m feelin’ way too shy,
gotta go and get a drink first, liquid pride.
Walkin’ up to the bar, I’m feelin’ thirsty
I try to get their attention so they serve me.
Yeah I’ll be wavin’, shoulder leanin
debit card out so they can see it.
I’m gonna stand there several minutes
as the bar tender skips me for the hot chicks.
And tonight there’s no bein’ thrifty
’cause 1 light beer costs $11.50
We’re gonna all take a shot, yo
And Ima try to not gag as it hits my throat
The flavour’s really gross! (Really gross!)
and then I’ll throw it back (what?) and maybe throw it up in a sec.
Crowd’s so huge, we can’t move.
Every direction, people bumpin’ you.
Elbows, elbow, elbow, shoulder, elbow, step on my toes!
From the table (from the table)
to the flo’! (To the flo’!)
Gonna shove me all night long, (long)
’til there’s drinks spilled down my clothes! (clothes)
Got some Hennessy on my dockers,
Got some Hennessy on my pants.
Got a daquery on my shoulder,
and a martini on my hand.Spot a hottie in the crowd (you scared, you scared)
But the music’s too loud (you scared, you scared)
If ya wanna flirt now (you scared, you scared)
Lemme show you all how! (you scared, you scared)
You gotta lean in, to the ear and, gotta scream at the top of your lungs, hey!
Gotta lean in, get in near and, just scream ’til your voice is all gone.
Hey, hey! What’s your name?
What?
I, said, what’s your name?
What?
Tell, me, what’s your name?
What?
Can’t, hear, anything!
And stop! and grind ’em,
Yeah sneak, behind ’em
Go dance surprise ’em,
and they, say they’ve got to find a friend.Half past 9, we lost brian, ‘nother friend is trying to start a fight outside.
Oh no! chil bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro!
In the bathroom, (in the bathroom)
down the hall, (down the hall)
There’s a girl cryin’ in that stall, (stall)
’bout her ex boyfriend named Paul. (Paul)
But ya can’t wait wait any longer, (longer)
No ya can’t wait wait, goddamn ! (goddamn)
Gonna go pee pee by the dumpster, (by the dumpster)
Hope the cops don’t see, god, god, goddamn!Maybe it’s just me, but when I look around this room, why do I get the distinct feeling I’m the oldest person here?
If you’ve ever worn heels that snapped and broke, shake your head like a mother (don’t go!)
If you ever fell down, and shout at your phone, shake your head like a (don’t go)
If you ever had the bar tender cut you off, shake your head like a (don’t go)
If you’ve ever had beer goggles work before, shake your head like a (don’t go)Past midnight, Uber ride, charge me triple with the surging price,
spend mo’, and mo’, and mo’,
use all my dough, until I’m broke!
Call an Uber, (to the Uber)
take me home! (to my home)
drop a pin down on that phone! (phone)
That was half an hour ago! (go)
Gonna fall asleep on the corner, (on the corner)
Gonna fall asleep, goddamn! (goddamn)
Can you please please please call the driver? (call the driver)
Can you call please please goddamn?!
Hello? Where are you? what? no! I’m on Second street! No, Second, I think it’s a one way. No I don’t see you. Are you here? Should I walk over? what kind of prias are you driving? What?
Bleh. That caption job was not my best work. Hope someone can help fix up the rough spots.