Last Updated on: 31st December 2019, 08:17 am
Somebody said something to me that set my mind into battle mode against itself.
A lady who lives on the same flor as us started talking to me. At first, it was just regular conversation. Then she mentioned my neighbour and her little baby. This was swiftly followed by “Soon it’ll be your turn. You want to have a baby some day don’t you?” This felt like a knife straight through my heart.
I have never said this up on the blog before, but I found out a few years ago that it’s highly unlikely that I will be able to have kids. If I could, and that’s abig if, it would take some serious medical intervention. It has nothing to do with the blindness, not that it should, but I had to throw that in there. It has more to do with the other crap that’s wonky with me. But long story short, giving birth isn’t in the cards for me.
so to be asked that question outside an elevator by an acquaintance hurt like hell. All I could mutter was “yes.” but I’m sure my face told a myriad of stories that I never wanted to tell in words. But I have the kind of face that might as well have speech bubbles above it because it’s far too expressive for my own good.
Then another part of me said “How could she have known that about you? At least she thought enough of you that she thought you could raise a baby, unlike others who think you can barely get out of bed in the morning unassisted. Be thankful for that.”
But then another part of me wondered if that’s a safe thing to say to anyone. I mean, I don’t want people stumbling over their words for fear that anything at all could offend someone, but isn’t that a line of conversation that’s a wee touch invasive? Isn’t that sort of similar to asking someone how old they are or how much they make? Or am I crazy?
I don’t really have an end to this post. I just hate awkward moments like that, and they leave me thinking for far longer than that woman probably thought about the whole exchange. The most thought she might have given it was “Gee what’s with the expression on her face? It went from shock to dismay to despair to fake cheerfulness. Hmmm. Oh well, gotta do laundry now…”