Whenever we’ve flirted with the idea of buying a house or hear that someone we know is doing it, one thought always crosses my mind. I sure hope it doesn’t come with a homeowners association. Those things suck shit and should probably be illegal. I don’t think I’ve heard a single positive story about one …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
A Bus Full Of Metal Muffins
These are going on the playlist with Baby Shark and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The Muffin Man: The Wheels On The Bus:
Off To A Flying Start
This reminds me of the time I pulled the screens out of my windows and left the doors wide open to keep thieves out of my house. Ottawa paid nearly $670,000 for KPMG’s advice on cutting consultant costs Apologies to any thieves reading this for the comparison. The federal government hired KPMG consultants at a …
Hip To Be The Sandman
Music used in this mashup: Metallica – Enter Sandman Huey Lewis and the News – Hip to Be Square Megadeth – Peace Sells Judas Priest – Living After Midnight
Leaving On A Heart-Shaped Jet Plane
Today in nope, definitely would not have thought of doing that: Singing “Leaving on a Jet Plane” over “Heart-Shaped Box”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjC5sK9AZDI
Will You Act Now And Rush A Click To This Post?
IF I EMAILED MY PARENTS LIKE DEMOCRATS EMAIL ME I got a chuckle out of this. Yes, it says Democrats, but you can definitely substitute that for your party/advocacy group of choice, or at least that’s been my experience. I imagine the Republican ones are much crazier now, but I’ve been lucky enough not to …
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Good Morning, Everyone. You’re All Doing A Terrible Job
If the head of Zoom telling his employees that they have to go back to the office because it’s hard to get anything done over Zoom isn’t the height of irony, I’m pretty sure it’s high enough up there that it can tap the real height of irony on the shoulder and ask it for …
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How Does This Work? Do I Get 20% Off?
At the best of times, the entire concept of tipping is nearly 100% bullshit. But business, as it so often does, has found a way to not only hit 100% bullshit on that scale, but also to redefine what maximum bullshit percentages even are. That’s right, they’re asking for tips at self-checkouts now. The Wall …
How About You Come Sleep Inside, My Man
I don’t drive, but I have driven with a lot of people. Sometimes those people get tired. Sometimes tired enough that them continuing to drive simply isn’t safe. So I understand why perhaps this fellow might have decided to get himself the heck off the road and take a little nap. I can also understand …
Zoom In The 1980s
This would be great if a pandemic ever took over the world…not that that’s gonna happen, hahahaha!