Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Wow. Amazing. We’ve had people go to the wrong house while drunk, but I’ve never heard of someone mistaking a CHP station for a food store. But he was in a special state when he got out of his car and started asking a cop for a sandwich. I couldn’t do a better job than …
Continue reading “CHP Does Not Stand For Chicken, Hamburgs and Pizza!”
Steve sent me this story of late-night chaos, and it would have been a pretty ordinary story, except for two things. First, our star of the show was just strollin’ down the street with a pitcher of beer in his hand. We don’t know if he bought a pitcher of beer and figured he could …
This unnamed bride-to-be should thank the trooper who stopped and ticketed her. Otherwise, the night could have ended much differently. Maybe the bride-to-be would have been wearing her wedding dress as her funeral dress. She was coming home from her bachelorette party and had had some booze. But she was going to drive home. She …
This story of a man running over, and parking on, a sleeping drunk man is the perfect storm of oh fuck. Robert Biggenow was having a good time with family. He was drinking, and drinking some more, and he decided to go to sleep. But he didn’t sleep in a conventional place. He went to …
The timeline onthe story of Nicholas Ryan Harrisleaves me with a question, which I’ll get to in a moment. But first, the story. Harris was picked up by police and being booked into jail on charges of driving under the influence, possession of marijuana and possession of paraphernalia. As part of the booking process, he …
When you see a story about a man in a banana suit showing off his banana, you just have to put it up, although it’s hard to say much else because the rest of the story makes no sense. All we know is Carlton Jeffery Kohnert decided that he must drive around town in a …
Can you imagine being on this JetBlue flight? You arrive at JFK, and then a flight attendant goes positively lulu! Well, can you find a better way to sum up this chain of events? JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh had taxied to a stop at Terminal 5, Gate C around noon Monday when flight attendant …
The future’s looking bright for the child of 38-year-old Julie Bailey. I mean, when Bailey is pregnant, gets drunk, and goes out to rob a Taco John’s for crack money, how can things get much worse? She couldn’t even manage to pull out a hammer from her pocket! And she was walking around choosing a …
So, here’s a lesson, courtesy of Jerry Douthett. If you notice that your toe is swelling, so much so that you can’t wear shoes, and it smells, go to the fucking hospital, would ya? Don’t wait, because if you do, your dog may do an in-home amputation for you. This case is pretty much like …
Boy oh boy do I have a monstrosity for you! Remember how we said our Canada Day audio would never be heard by the world? Well, that still holds, so we decided to try again. And we created something even longer and crazier than that one! We didn’t mean to, honest. We just sat down …