I can’t stop chuckling at the phrase “Oy! Put that party sausage away!” I think that was the greatest way to describe a flasher. This Ragen Howarth fellow sounds like quite the prize. There’s a lot of he said she said, but that sentence alone made me think the story should go up here.
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
This One Wasn’t Playing
I wonder what, besides alcohol, compelled Donald Wolfe to try and resuscitate a dead possum. I love the following quote. Trooper Levier said Wolfe was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.” I wonder if he was trying to make up for Kevin A. Temple’s drunken …
Just Couldn’t Stay Off The Drugs
I know Michael Berg was happy that he passed his court-ordered drug test, but perhaps sucking back a bunch of booze and then a shot glass full of liquid morphine wasn’t the best way to celebrate. It sure wasn’t in this case, Berg is dead now.
Maybe His Cell Mate Will Keep Him Warm Now
That would have been quite a wake-up call. You’re peacefully sleeping, and then you feel someone crawling into bed with you. You think it’s your girlfriend, so you call out her name, but a male voice responds “No it’s not.” That’s what happened to this poor sucker. Apparently, Michael Karanja Kamau, the man who crawled …
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Once The Bun Comes Out Of The Oven, It’s Not Supposed To Go Back In
Larry Long and Brandy Hatton sound like quite the pair. I wonder how they managed to take care of two other kids before this incident. Long said he went to work and smoked some marijuana which he thinks may have been laced with something else. He came home, and he and Hatton drank a fifth …
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My Name Is Sue, How Do You Do?
My god, the people with whom we share this earth! I have been rendered speechless. I…I don’t know what to say. Just read this story, and check to make sure you still have both your ears. Then make sure noone who looks like Susan Mukuhi Mwarabu is anywhere near you. According to the criminal complaint, …
She’s Gonna Have A Hard Time Saying That’s Not Hers…
You know, if your name is Rebekah Michal Tracht-Kader, and you’ve got a stash of pot in your car, it’s not a good idea to write “Rebekah’s pot” on the box containing said pot stash. This is especially bad when you’re being pulled over for drinking and driving and they find your pot.
Burden Of Proof
I wonder if Betty Burden is the same lady who could walk a straight line in heels while drunk off her ass. It’s either that, or she’s just plain lucky. I’m leaning towards column B. Burden managed to drive a bus full of kids to their destinations while having 3 times the legal limit of …
Supper Soaker
Wow, police and jail officials don’t just have to worry about warding off well-used and bloody female sanitary napkins. Now breast milk has been used as a weapon. Toni Tramel was arrested for public intoxication. As she was changing into a prison uniform, she decided to squirt breast milk in the face of the deputy …
I Drink Alone. Yeah, With Nobody Else. And You Know When I Drink Alone, I Prefer That My Van Be Ablaze
Here’s a bit of free legal advice. If the police haul you in on suspicion of driving under the influence, it is generally a good idea to hire a lawyer and fight as best you can. However, if the vehicle you were cruising around in when the police hauled you in on suspicion of driving …