Yes officer, I am driving drunk right now, but I’m no danger to anybody. Really, I’m being extra careful. In fact, all this time I’ve been tooling around out here I have taken great care to make sure that I’ve got one eye shut at all times so I won’t see double. What’s that you …
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
I Give Up. There’s No Title For Something Like This
“I wish to have sex with you.” “I must respectfully decline.” “Please? It would really make my night if in fact I could have sex with you.” “No thank you, good sir, I wish not these things.” “Oh come on my sweet. Let us make the wonderful music of love with one another.” “Again I …
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Drunken Fat Boy
I don’t have anything else to say except oh look! A drunken horse in a pool! Hahahahahahha! That’s about as funny as the drunken moose. And they both ate rotten apples.
Oh Rats!
Attention fans ofThe Darwin Awards.Watch for the name David Stanifer. I have a feeling you’ll be seeing it one day if this is any indication. Flaming Pet Rat Starts Fire, Damages Titusville Home The quick and dirty of the story is that this guy and a couple of buddies were having some fun chasing their …
Goldy-Schlogs And The Three Bewildered Residents
Well, it looks like not just blind drunks end up in the wrong house after a night of fun. Hell, we already knew that people with functioning eyes can stumbel into the wrong apartment in the same building. Now, we’ve discovered that if you get to a certan level of drunkenness, you can be eight …
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Here’s Some Proof For Ya
It’s funny that not long after Steve talked about how determined alcoholics are to drive drunk, this story appears. Yup, that proves it. They put an ignition interlock device on his car that is designed to prevent him from driving drunk, and he figures a way around it. It’s just good he got caught. Now …
The Judge Should Be Locked Up For His Recklessness Too
Ok, Steve’s Angry. Why?Here’s why. A story about fetching coffee for nuns kept a southern Ontario man out of jail yesterday for driving while suspended. Danilo Almendarez, 50, faced the usual penalty of a short stay in custody after admitting he got behind the wheel in March while serving a one-year ban for impaired driving. …
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You Folks Sure Are A Hot Crowd
Brothers Ian and Matthew Balderama are currently being held on arson and murder charges forsetting fire to their family home by pouring gas down the basement stairs and lighting a match. The blaze, which the 2 idiots set as a prank on their cousin, turned into a joke on their father who was apparently drunker …
Doesn’t Everybody Do That?
This is so dumb that I feel it should be posted. Check out this snip from astory about fights during a college football game. Police arrested Lucas Widdicombe after someone sitting near him said he had a cup, and “he had urinated in the cup and was going to throw it at Ball State fans.” …
Great Coping Skills, Dude
I shouldn’t have read this story today. I am suddenly filled with rage at the father. So you couldn’t save your wife. That’s sad. But what the fuck kind of shape do you think you’re leaving your son in by telling him you’re going to shoot yourself, threatening to shoot anyone who came near you …