>What a wacko. First he’s hitting cars and smashing beer bottles. Then, when they arrest him for public intoxication, Ryan Halverson ups his charges to felony assault of a public servant. What did he do? He licked the arresting officer’s face. No, leave that for the police dogs. Why would you do that? That’s just …
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
They Do Say The Guilty Always Sleep, But Isn’t That Supposed To Be After They Get Caught?
When I first saw this story, I didn’t care about it, but upon closer inspection, I can’t stop laughing. I laughed so hard that Steve wondered what was so goddamn funny. Well, what do you think of the image of a couple of drunken fools breaking into a store, stealing a bunch of patio furniture, …
What The…?
From New Mexico’sRio Grande Sun. 1:33 p.m. — A caller said a man was asleep in a car on Bond Street, but he was stepping on the accelerator while Chihuahuas escaped from his car. Police found the intoxicated man running around Vietnam Veterans Park chasing his Chihuahuas; a sober driver picked him up. Hopefully once …
“What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?" "A Chatterbox!”
When I first heard about the woman who called the emergency number because her guest talked too much, I was mad at her. But when I heard she had talked for 30 hours straight, had ignored encouragements to leave, and had become progressively more drunk, I changed my tune. Maybe she should have called just …
Continue reading ““What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?" "A Chatterbox!””
I Did What? I’m Seeing Judge Who?
The story of Brett Tyler Schatte would have been a pretty good one even without being able to play the name game. I mean you know it’s been a hell of a night when you’re finally hauled into the clink after walking naked into a convenience store at 10 to 3 in the morning, eating …
Story Time With Steve
Police: Drunk Woman Slept In Neighbor’s Home This story isn’t particularly funny, but posting it is a good excuse to tell one of my own that’s significantly better. In fact it’s one of my favourite stories to tell, but this is going to be my first crack at writing it down so I hope I …
It’s Good To Be Tough, But Some Sense Would Be Nice
I hate to say this, but it sounds like Eric Morris was doomed to die young. I mean, he did everything anyone asked him to do that was crazy. “Wanna jump off a roof?” “Sure!” “How about surfing on the hood of a car?” “Vroom Vroom let’s go!” “Ok, how about drinking shots upon shots …
Continue reading “It’s Good To Be Tough, But Some Sense Would Be Nice”
Why Can’t We BE Friends?
Jesus, what’s with people fighting at weddings? It all started with a missing camera and ended up with 100 people fighting, 30 police on scene, 2 people stabbed and one guy punched in the face, and 3 arrests. Holy shit. Can’t we all just get along? Smacking the piss out of each other won’t make …
Officer, You’re Killing My Buzz
If you’re looking to not get yourself busted on a DUI, might I humbly suggest that you refrain fromtooling around the streets of New York in a motorized beer cooler,especially one that has a top speed of 13 MPH? Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of …
Friends Don’t Let Themselves Drive Drunk
Some of you might remember thestory of Pat Dykstra,the woman who called 911 from behind the wheel of her car to report that she was too drunk to drive. Well, strange as it sounds, and to me it sounds quite strange because I can’t remember 1 case of this in my lifetime let alone 2 …