Cicadas, Domino, and You

I don’t know if there’s a longer version of this song, this is the only one I can find, but it crawls into my head, heh, and won’t leave whenever I hear about the cicada double brood event happening in the US this summer. I guess two different cycles of cicadas are converging, and a …

At Least He Was Keeping Himself Clean

It’s totally a stereotype and I know we’re all supposed to be better than that now, but be honest with yourself. When you hear a name like Giovanni Impellizzeri, you probably have at least one of two thoughts: That’s a mobster. I bet he could make some pretty good food. I can’t speak to that …

No No No No No No No No No No No…Baaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrfffffffff…No No No No No No No No No No…

Please, for the love of the sweet baby Jesus, tell me that this is not in fact a thing that anyone outside of freaks and maniacs who really want to be interviewed by a magazine is doing/has done. There aren’t many times when I want the media to make up a trend, but if the …

Diabetes-Inspired Dream Donuts?

Everybody sing. And a 1! And a 2! I just heard about Tim Horton’s dream donuts. I haven’t tried them yet, but I was curious what they’re all about and whether I should. I’m still kind of curious about them, but they remind me of the Creamy Chocolate Chill from days long ago, and the …

It’s Better Here, If By Here You Mean In The Garbage

I feel like this might be a good time to break out a tune I learned from one of the nephews. Do you like cereal? Yes I do! Do you like Frosties? Yes I do. Do you like limited edition frosty breakfast cereal born out of a partnership between Wendy’s and Kellogg? Highly fuckin’ unlikely, …

Today In Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should: We Almost Had Cranberry Sauce And Mayo In The Same Jar

“I have a really terrible idea,” proclaimed Patrick Kelleher one day in 2008, “and I want everyone to know that its mine.” And so it came to pass that a patent application was filed and Cramonnaise came dangerously close to being born. Abstract Two popular food items, mayonnaise and cranberry sauce, are mixed together to …

Milk Is Amazingly Gross When You Can’t See What It’s Doing

Steve’s naked singing milk-drinking guy made me think of this milk commercial, and some thoughts I had about it. I’m sure what’s happening there is there is a waterfall of milk and maybe a cow off to the side mooing. But that is not the image that the sound conjured up for me, who couldn’t …