Maybe This Is Why They’re Divorced?

I don’t usually say this, but if you think you might be easy to offend or if you’ve recently eaten and have a weak stomach, just go away, right now! Now for those of you who are still here, I’d like to introduce you to41-year-old Melissa Lee Williams of West Virginia.She seems a little hard …

There’s No Bottle. He’ll Give You What’s On Tap

Wow. Looks like we have another Michael Edwards. This one didn’t bother with that whole bottle thing. He just jacked off as he went past this woman while she studied in the library, and got her right on the arm! Gross! His name is Oritse Ayu. The way JAWS pronounces it, it sounds like his …

Unwanted Guests And Unwanted Presents

Man are we ever lucky when we had our drunken visitor. I can’t say that enough. Unlike us, a group of trusting college residents weren’t so lucky. When they left their door unlocked, a dude walked into their apartment, randomly walked into one of their bedrooms and flicked on the light, then used their john, …

Shantell Nicole Issues

How’d you like to be in the area where this happened and witness this bizarre chain of events? Bartlesville police received a report of a citizen needing assistance in the 400 block of Southeast Adams Boulevard. The victim there reportedly told police that Ishem had gotten into his truck and stolen his donut. As police …

She Thought It Was Her Civic Duty To Throw Her Dog’s Duty

I’ve learned something today. A bag of dog doodoo is considered a dangerous weapon. Wow, I didn’t know I disposed of dangerous weapons twice a day. But apparently, it is, because a woman who threw a bag of dog feces at a car because she thought the driver was speeding has now been charged with …

What A Crappy Plan

Oh my my. I’d hate to see the collective IQ at this family reunion if Donald Denney and his son Donald Denney are any indication. I mean, they didn’t even bother putting Jr. on one and Sr. on the other. I can see it all now when the younger Denney was born. Young Donald: Waaaaa!Proud …

Caffeine Bound For Your Yom Crappur

This story about jews buying caffeine suppositories to take during Yom Kippur to get around the fasting and no caffeine rule reminded me of Steve’s post about sabbath-friendly appliances. But do you need caffeine that badly that you’re willing to take it up the pooper? I guess the answer is yes, since the pharmacy even …

CHP Does Not Stand For Chicken, Hamburgs and Pizza!

Wow. Amazing. We’ve had people go to the wrong house while drunk, but I’ve never heard of someone mistaking a CHP station for a food store. But he was in a special state when he got out of his car and started asking a cop for a sandwich. I couldn’t do a better job than …

Dickheads, Dickheads, Eat Them Up, Yum!

I spend a lot of time yelling at people for not seeing jokes for what they are, jokes. But in the case of this supposed joke on a restaurant’s website, I cannot make the journey. A restaurant due to open soon in Berlin by the name of Flime has a strange request up on its …