This Could Even Hurt Dogs’ Ears

After hearing Mamma Will Bark by Frank Sinatra, I feel like my brains got shaken up like a milkshake. I showed this to Steve, and he said he had never heard this horrible song, and we needed more information on this attrocity. There’s his answer. Ug. That’s just gross. It’s like the worst version of …

The Driver On The Bus Goes Blech Blech Blech, All Through The Ditch

The story of a bus driver leaning out of a moving school bus to vomit and then falling out of said bus is hilarious, but I can’t decide if I want to believe it or not. I want to believe it happened because I would have loved to have seen the driver fall out of …

That’s Not A Toilet Brush!

Eeewww! Just, eeewww! I guess Justin Novack was living on his own, and his mom came over. She said the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned in two months, so she cleaned it for him…with his toothbrush! Then she put his toothbrush back in the holder. He found feces on it, and that’s when he called police. …

I Could Use Somebody…To Help Me Get This Bird Shit Out Of My Yap

WhenBarbmessaged me about this yesterday, it brought even more joy to what had already been a fine day. Thank you Barb, and more importantly, thank you, pigeons! Kings of Leon’s Friday show at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre in St. Louisended after just 3 songs thanks to what can only be described as a literal shitstorm. …

Peanut Butter Sandwich, Made For Bear?

I shouldn’t laugh at this, because when you think about it long and hard, it’s not one bit funny. But forgive me. I’m sitting up late, wrestling a new set of maps into my Trekker, so I think my threshold for hilarious is down a bit from its usual spot. Here’s a message for anyone …

Some Weird Ads For Ya

It’s time once again for an episode of what the hell is up with these commercials? This one took us a while to put together, and it has less in it. There’s been this ad campaign pushing Ontario as the place to be. I think it started when we moved into this apartment, because I …

We Are Spoiled Miracle Whip, And We Will Not Tone It Down

I read the story of a HAZMAT team being sent because of a huge container of rotting mayonaise, and immediately thought of Steve’s post about cleaning out the fridge and finding that turkey gone wrong. Just imagine if we’d left the turkey for much longer. The story goes that two people were inspecting an empty …

My Stomach’s Doing Flips, And I’m Not On A Rollercoaster

Ug. The thought of 32 naked people riding a rollercoaster sounds positively eeewww. Can you imagine what happens when men go upside-down and their balls are flappin’ in the wind? Yuck! There was one gross thing that one guy said. “I’m not nervous about being naked in front of people, I’m not nervous on rollercoasters. …