Ya know, I needed ideas of things to get people for Christmas, not things not to get people for christmas. But thanks for the handy dandy list of things to avoid. Can you imagine opening up one of these things on christmas? Just imagine the facial expressions of you and everybody around you. Uh, that’ll …
Category Archives: blech
You’re Cut Off! Oh Yeah? Well, You’re Shit On!
Scott D. Leonard should take a lesson from Erik Salmons. Quit while you’re ahead. Leonard was having a grand old time at a bar, and then he got a little too tipsy and started throwing darts at other patrons. The bartender said there would be no booze for him, something he did not like to …
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Autotune the Puke
Wow, there’s nothing the Autotune the News guys won’t think to work their magic with. Now, they’ve made the balloon boy’s puking into semi-music. Awesome! I’m so glad I go back and check on that channel every now and then.
Did He Just Take Too Many Laxatives?
Even if you were drunk out of your mind, what would possess you to walk into a pharmacy, walk to the front of the store, take a dump on the floor, and then leave? And how sad that this drunken defecator has the name Robert E. Lee. This makes me wonder. Why would you give …
>Did He Not Light Up Her Life Enough?
>It’s not often that a woman goes in the do it yourself files, but I believe Daria Woods belongs there, wouldn’t you say? When the male victim went outside to avoid further assault, he told officers, a naked Woods ran outside to attempt to attack him again, but ultimately grabbed his keys from him and …
Trixie-Related Ramblings
Here comes some more Trixie-related stuff. I don’t know if this post is quite long enough for R to sit back and put her feet up and read, but it’s longer than that other wee one I wrote. There are two things Trixie does right now that are mildly annoying. Hopefully I can get one …
She Could Not Be Contained, Even In Death
Ug. If you’re going to put the ashes of a dearly-departed in a locket, make sure it’s professionally-sealed and meant to hold ashes. Otherwise, it may become a leaket, and put the ash in your mashed potatos. I know, that’s a horrible, horrible thing to laugh about. But I can’t stop. I think it’s because …
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I’m Sure He Thought The Sentence Was Crap Too
Remember our old pal Weusi McGowan? The one who smeered his lawyer with crap and threw some at the jury? Well, he got 31 years in the slammer. I guess they checked him for any bags of crap, because there was no word of him hurling anything at the judge after that sentence.
Don’t Squeeze The Charmin Embassador
You know you’re desperate for employment when you decide to be a Charmin Embassador. Seriously. What’s the job? Procter and Gamble, from time to time, set up public bathrooms in New York and promote Charmin. They want to pay people to stand around in these public johns, interact with the people going in there to …
Shitty Robbery Plans
Hey there copper wire-stealing dude. It’s a good idea to check a place where you’re going to steal copper wire to see if there are cameras. What is a bad idea is trying to take a crap in a barrel of grease nearby. There were cameras, you tipped over the barrel, and your whole escapade …