Save It ‘Til You Get Home, Live Freer

An update on the story of William Tyler Black, the fellow who was so taken with the hotness on display at his local Walmart that he felt his only option was tograb a magazine, head for the toy department and play Bop It with himself until he unleashed on the floor,hascut a deal with the …

Alexander Ofner And The Throbbing Man Hammer

A group of people who went to Sea Turtle Cinemas in Bluffton, South Carolina to check out the new Harry Potter movie got to check out a bit more than they bargained for earlier this week. Alexander Ofner, 39, was arrested there a few days ago after complaints that he wasmasturbating in the back row …

He’s Just Putting On An Itchy And Scratchy Show!

I saw the story of Charles Lickteig, a supervisor of a sex offender treatment program, getting busted for exposing himself at a traffic light, and thought I should probably post it. Then I forgot about it. Plus I couldn’t think of much to say except hmmm…wonder how it’ll feel to be a member of the …

Something’s Raising, But It Doesn’t Look Like A Barn

Q: What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, Sweet Jesus Annie! Hide your eyes! Clip clop, clip clop?A:Amish people who were unlucky enough to have a run-in with Jason Morrison. The 33-year-old, for reasons unexplained, had a thing for driving up to buggies driven by the Amish and exposing himself to them, according to …

She’s Stocking Shelves, He’s Stalking Prey

Did Nathan Hensley want to get caught? Why else would he flash an employee, then pay with a government voucher complete with ID moments later? Eeewww. Can you imagine stocking shelves, with a guy talking to you but you’ve got your back turned, and then you hear “Look how big it is”? When you turn around, …

Sir, This Isn’t The Cockpit

Oh me oh my. What a story. Let’s just get to telling it. According to reports from flight staff on an airplane, Neil Prendeville, a popular radio personality, just unzipped his pants and started wackin’ it while sitting in his seat between two passengers. He apologized on air for the incident, claiming that he had …

There’s No Bottle. He’ll Give You What’s On Tap

Wow. Looks like we have another Michael Edwards. This one didn’t bother with that whole bottle thing. He just jacked off as he went past this woman while she studied in the library, and got her right on the arm! Gross! His name is Oritse Ayu. The way JAWS pronounces it, it sounds like his …

>Now It’s Time To Do Some Real Cleaning…

>How would you like to come back from lunch to find a naked man sitting at your desk watching porn on your computer? That’s what happened to one poor fellow at a business that was not identified. All we do know is when he asked the naked guy what he was doing there, the guy …

Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody…Hump The Dinosaur?

Ooo! A humping! We haven’t had one of these in a while. All we know for sure is that somebody flashed some girls in a playground, and then humped a dinosaur-shaped piece of playground equipment. Police think that a drunken fellow by the name of Guadelupe Paramo-Almanza was the one who did it, but they’re …

Mr. Lorenzo’s Oil Has Been Sentenced

Remember Nicholas Lorenzo? The guy at the Safeway who was showin’ off a little non-deli meat? Well, he’s been sentenced. Five years of probation, sex offender treatment, and 48 hours of community service. Just don’t have him making sandwiches during that time. I admit I’ve never been struck by the urge to play with myself …