Like A Flash, He Was Gone

This storyhas everything. A flashing, somewhat of a humping, and apparently even a getaway where none should have been possible. The 20-year-old woman said she was dropping off a man at the apartment complex in the 2800 block of Douglas Avenue about 1:15 a.m., on Wednesday. The woman told police she saw the man in …

Ragu…ooo…ooo…ahhhhhhh

Ok boys and girls, it’s time to play a nice game of how much innuendo can the newspaper cram into one story? Heh heh heh, I said cram… Our subject today is46-year-old Keith Roy Weatherley, who was stopped by police and observed with his noodle in a pasta sauce jar.This should be easy. A MAN …

I’m All For Giving A Helping Hand, But Not That Kind

If this is true, that’s disgusting. If it’s not, there are going to be some very angry folks at New Zealand care. Six women who used to work for them, who all left around the same time, have said they were ordered to aid their cllients in masturbating. The company is vehemently denying that this …

You’ll Be Blind, But You’ll Be Breathing Like A Champ

A paper published in The Journal of Medical Hypotheses proposes that next time you get hit with a cold, rather than popping pills and slugging medicine like it’s going out of style you should insteadtry jerking off on a schedule. I’m way more curious about this than I should be, and as I type I’m …

Some More Unintentional Newspaper Comedy

Police received a report about 12:30 p.m. that a naked man was sitting on a milk crate behind buildings in the 300 block of West Ann Street. Police found the man, who was shirtless and had his pants down around his ankles. He had a beer in one hand and was masturbating with the other …

It Would Have Been Slightly Funnier If He Had Used A Ball Pean Hammer, But What Can Ya Do?

I’m definitely a believer in the idea of to each his own, but it’s hard to argue that there’s nothing wrong with a guy who gets his kicks by jacking off in public view (blinds were up and front door was wide open) using aclaw hammer,plastic bag and motor oil. I’ve been writing this blog …