Listen up, everyone at work right now. Maybe this feels like it might be a good time to take a break, head to the bathroom and rub one out. But before you do, I want you to ask yourself a couple of questions. How quiet am I? Is it worth getting my ass fired if …
Category Archives: do it yourself
Take One…Out Of My Pants
Somehow I missed this one last summer. When Rebecca McKay went to her band’s studio last week, she found something she never expected. A man, shirtless and sweating, allegedly masturbating to pornography on the band’s computer was sitting on the couch in the mixing room. He quickly tried to come up with a cover story …
And…That’s One
Hopefully this isn’t the beginning of another list. And why the apparently fake dong? Do those come in the official city of Guelph indecent acts starter kit so you can decide whether the new town hobby is truly for you? On Feb. 19, 2019 between 8 and 8:20 a.m., a 13-year-old female was walking to …
Home Of The Flopper
A Nebraska man was arrested for masturbating at a Burger King Sunday night. One of the Lincoln restaurant employees who witnessed the event told police that 24-year-old Khaled Khalil kept entering and exiting the restaurant, and when he’d get inside, he would begin masturbating, 1011 Now reports. The witness also told police Khalil’s genitals were …
The Hard Is Still On
Back in 2016, we learned of twice convicted public masturbator Anthony Hardison (yes, that’s still his real name) and his attempt to become thrice convicted public masturbator Anthony Hardison by doing what he does whilst registering as a sex offender. Unfortunately, it seems that as of last year, he’s still at it. The latest alleged …
Cop In An Elevator, Gettin’ It Up While We’re Goin’ Down
Level Plains, Alabama police chief Billy Maurice Driggers has become former Level Plains, Alabama police chief Billy Maurice Driggers after being caught enjoying a trip to Florida a little too much. According to Panama City Beach investigators, officers arrived at Aqua Condominiums on Oct. 2 in response to a complaint about a suspicious person. “Officers …
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What In The Actual Hell Is Going ON In Guelph These Days?
Brampton man accused of exposing himself in public sauna Two boys under the age of 18 were present at the time Police called about a man masturbating in front of hospital The male is described as approximately 45-55 years old, about 5’6” tall, Man found masturbating in toy section Police attended to the store and …
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Come ON, Dude. I Triple Dong Dare You!
I don’t know if Richard Kuhn needs better friends, richer friends or a course on lying, but he clearly needs something. Maybe less time on his hands would be a good start. On May 22, three women in three separate reports told Ocala police that a man exposed himself to them at Target, 2000 SW …
May Masturbation Take Place Not, May Meth Not Cloud Your Mind, No Officer To Say You’ll Blow, No Bars You’ll Be Behind (Updated)
Maybe Kevin Adkins had nobody to kiss New Year’s Eve. Perhaps that’s why he was so intent on taking matters into his own hands. Or it might have been the meth. Yeah, that’s probably it. Stay off the meth, everyone. I haven’t tried most of them, but there are some drugs that look like they …
Simply Orange And A Few Other Surprises
Meet Willis Gene Burdette, who may or may not be Michael Kevin Lallana’s grandfather. If the two aren’t related, they’re at least spirit animals or something. The woman contacted police after her home security system recorded Burdette entering the residence one afternoon. Burdette, a criminal complaint noted, got into the home by “using a key …