Category Archives: food feuds

Darren The Red-Nosed Father Attacker

What kind of guy beats up his own dad on Christmas Eve just because the beer ran out? Oh. It’s Ireland? That makes sense. I forgot about the alcoholism nature of their kind. He told the Boxing Day session of the court that Darren Johnston became increasingly agitated during an argument between the pair. “He …

Continue reading “Darren The Red-Nosed Father Attacker”

A Slam Leads To The Slammer, Where He’ll Get All The Sausage He Can Handle

The boy’s mother had called 911, telling arriving police that she walked into the kitchen and saw her husband with his arm around the boy’s neck, said Lt. James Cole of the Canton Police Department. She told the officers that after she broke up the scuffle, Jones continued to yell at the boy “for eating …

Continue reading “A Slam Leads To The Slammer, Where He’ll Get All The Sausage He Can Handle”

In A Roundabout Way, I Know How He Feels. I’d Want To Punch Someone Who Wanted To Share Eggnog With Me

I really hope there’s more to this dust up than meets the eye, because though I know better, I like to think people aren’t really this nuts. Also, eggnog sucks. Luke Jarnigan was dispatched to Saxe’s residence which he shares with his girlfriend Christina Wyant. Wyant told Jarnigan that Saxe became violent when her teenage …

Continue reading “In A Roundabout Way, I Know How He Feels. I’d Want To Punch Someone Who Wanted To Share Eggnog With Me”

They May Be Stuffing Him In Jail Soon

Stuffing is the best, but it’s not this good. The court heard that police were called to the hall at around 2.10am. Stewart said he had been “insulted” at the party by a man who made reference to the amount of stuffing he was taking from the buffet. After leaving the party, the court heard, …

Continue reading “They May Be Stuffing Him In Jail Soon”

Did Somebody Say Where’s My Damn Ketchup?

Yet again, someone has attacked a restaurant after a botched food order. And this time things weren’t even screwed up that badly. All the folks at McDonald’s did wrong was forget to toss some ketchup in the bag. By regular McDonald’s standards, that’s nothing. Employees at the business reported a red passenger car occupied by …

Continue reading “Did Somebody Say Where’s My Damn Ketchup?”

You Get A Stick! And You Get A Stick!

I’ll confess. I’m not sure I know what okra is. I thought it was that chick with the talk show, but apparently that’s wrong. What I do know for certain though is that it’s important enough to beat your brother with a stick over should the no good son of a bitch ever take some …

Continue reading “You Get A Stick! And You Get A Stick!”

Stabby Thanksgiving

Daring to start Thanksgiving dinner before your drunk girlfriend wakes up? That’s a stabbin’. Or maybe a carvin’ would be more appropriate, given the circumstances. Smith, 45, told officers that he had argued earlier in the day with Blake, who was reportedly intoxicated and had gone upstairs to sleep. While Blake snoozed, Smith began Thanksgiving …

Continue reading “Stabby Thanksgiving”