Should We Sing On Top Of Old Smokey Or On Top Of Spaghetti? Doesn’t Matter, They’re The Same Thing Now

If a single, stolen meatball from the office fridge is enough to earn you a stabbing, then it stands to reason that all of your spaghetti and meatballs being tossed out by your inconsiderate bastard housemate is grounds for something serious. But even so, this seems a bit excessive. Around 2:30 a.m., 33-year-old Melissa Dawn …

Dice My Onions, Or I Might Go Snaky!

I was going to write about this on Monday, but my computer had other plans. If I wrote this post on Monday, I would have said that I think I’m winning the battle with Captain Nameless Illness, but I’m not completely sure anymore. At any rate, it’s still robbing me of creativity because when I …

I Lost My Poor Meatball, So I Stabbed The No Good Son Of A…

We’ve got us a stabbing over a stolen meatball. Yes, a single, solitary meatball. Deputies were called around 11:10 a.m. to the business in the 2300 block of Belair Road, where they learned there had been an argument over one employee eating the other’s meatball from his lunch, Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Cristie Kahler said. An …

Eating At Burger King Is Dangerous Enough Without Managers Trying To Stab You For Complaining

I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps this restaurant employees attacking customers instead of the other way around stuff is more common than I thought. The lawsuit, filed October 1st, claims the incident happened in June 2013. According to the lawsuit, the customer said he asked for warmer food and the manager, Francisco Berrera, wasn’t pleased. The …

C Is For Chokehold, ‘Cause You Ate My Cookies Three

I’ve eaten cookies for breakfast once or twice in my day. Look at me, of course I have. But if anything’s going to kill me for doing so, it’s going to be Father Time and Cousin Coronary, not Crazy Cookie Loving Roommate Guy A.K.A. Allen M. Hall. After finding out that his unidentified 49-year-old female …

Revenge Of The Restaurant Worker

Everyone knows that when you put substandard restaurant service, impatient customers and weaponry together, a building is about to become a gunshot victim. But on the other hand, everyone also knows that there is what may or may not be a first time for everything. According to Springfield police, officers responding to a call about …