Goonba’s Pizzeria

Um, eek. Just don’t go to Goomba’s Pizzeria in Daytona Beach. If you do, don’t say that they got your order wrong because the pizzeria’s owner might pistol-whip you over it. the owner looks like quite the idiot, first saying that the surveillance was off and the customer assaulted him, then when the police found …

Anybody For Some *Really* Hot Fudge Brownies?

Since Carin has determined that our new mission is to catalogue any food-related fisticuffs we may come across, here’s a new one. Stephanie Anne Rydesky is facing assault and arson charges stemming from an exchange that started with her father, Dr. Stephen M. Rydesky asking her to eat a brownie and ended with her wacking …

Hungry Criminals

Lately, although neither of us have blogged about them, we’ve heard about people hitting other people with bagels, cheeseburgers, tacos, sandwiches on more than one occasion, and of course there was the infamous sausage assault and hot cookie torture. then there were the fights over what was for dinner. there was the guy who smacked …

Sausage And Spice And All That’s Not Nice

Imagine you’re sleeping. Suddenly you wake up and someone is rubbing spices on you and hitting your buddy with a sausage. Both the spices and the sausage came from your own kitchen. What the fuck. Then the guy runs out in only a shirt, boxer shorts and socks. You discover some money is mmissing, but …

Would You Like Fries With That?

Gees, we’re really dealing with a classy bunch. We have the Castellanos family, who came into the Paul Bunyan restaurant, and the burger he got seemed to be underdone and cold. When he asked for things to be fixed, he says the staff were rude, but they claim they were willing to reheat the burger, …

Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…

That’s a new one. Is it good enough to belong in the oompa loompas/Egypt-obsessed stranglers/drunken stuffed dog-screwers/teddy-bear plant stand shrines files? I’m not sure, but it’s weird. Picture this old guy in a convenience store buying some stuff. As he leaves, he gets ker smucked in the shoulder by a random yellow bag. It happens …