I’m just going to go ahead and present this without comment, because how am I supposed to improve upon it? A train traveller who had devoured a cocktail of legal highs and alcohol was arrested after trying to have sex with a drinks trolley. Andrew Davidson was seen humping the trolley while shouting ‘I want …
Category Archives: humpings
Finally, An Answer To The Question On Everyone’s Mind. How Much Time Will You Get For Violating Fake Pumpkins And Pool Toys
When last we left Edwin Charles Tobergta III, he was potentially looking at 12 months in the cooler after yet another bout of daylight public pool toy sex. After pleading guilty to a public indecency charge in September, Tobergta was sentenced to 11 of those months last November. So unless they have pools or Halloween …
Was It A 6-Inch Or A Footlong
Having lived in Kitchener for a shade over a year now, I can certainly relate to the frustration one feels when all you want is some friggin takeout or delivery, but half the restaurants aren’t open when it isn’t even all that late. What’s up with that, anyway? But never has the thought struck me …
I Love You, BART
Some people look for sex on the train, while others decide they’d be better off cutting out the middleman. Leslie Bailey, 28, got into this mess on May 8, after he boarded a Dublin-Pleasanton bound train at San Francisco’s 16th Street Station. Once on board the mostly empty train, Bailey sat in a seat in …
One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Hot Looking Raft
Our old pool toy and pumpkin humpin’ pal, Edwin Charles Tobergta III, is back at it. This time his victim (or date depending on how you choose to look at things) is another inflatable raft, one that had been thrown away by some thoughtless, wasteful individual who clearly didn’t care that it might still have …
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Today’s The Day The Teddy Bears Have Their Virginity Stolen
How was I not familiar with the work of Charles Marshall? Clearly I’m slipping and must do better. The 28-year-old Ohio man was recently arrested for the fourth time in two years for doing the same thing. That thing is public masturbation with a teddy bear assistant. Three of those arrests resulted in convictions. Charles …
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Let Martial Note In Triumph Float, And Liberty Extend Its Mighty…Penis?
I tweeted a few minutes ago that I wasn’t sure where to put this if it indeed needed to be put somewhere here at all. That’s right, I’m on Twitter in case you’ve forgotten. Anyway, I had a pretty good feeling that it was ending up here, but where? The two obvious choices were do …
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To Him, It Was An Inflatable Pleasure Craft
Remember Edwin Charles Tobergta? Remember him now? Well, he’s up to his old, er, tricks, or something, again, only this time, it was with a loverly pink inflatable swimming pool raft. And I guess he’s been having problems like this for a long time, even his grandma talks about it, sorta. Poor Edwin, will always …
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I Don’t Want To Know What’s In Their Cheesecake!
An ex-employee at a Cheesecake Factory restaurant is suing his fellow cooks for harassment. He says that several cooks spent a lot of time grabbing each other’s genetals and simulating sex acts. I wonder if, after this lawsuit, the restaurant will end up suing him for making them lose business. If I found out that …
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Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody…Hump The Dinosaur?
Ooo! A humping! We haven’t had one of these in a while. All we know for sure is that somebody flashed some girls in a playground, and then humped a dinosaur-shaped piece of playground equipment. Police think that a drunken fellow by the name of Guadelupe Paramo-Almanza was the one who did it, but they’re …
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