Apparentlycar fuckingis more widespread than we thought, at least so saysthis story from the Telegraph. I don’t have enough confidence in my abilities as a writer or reporter to think that I could ever do this thing justice, so I’ll let the words of Washington’s Edward Smith do the talking for me. “I appreciate beauty …
Category Archives: humpings
Baby You Can Drive My Car
Since we’ve somehow gotten into the habit of following things like this, it’s time for another exciting (yes I used that word intentionally) instalment of Stuff People Hump. This time the perpetrator is 18-year-old Callum Ainsworth of Kilwinning in the UK, and his victim isa car. Callum Ainsworth, 18, is accused of running along a …
Today’s The Day The Teddy Bears Hump Their Picnic
Ever sincethat poor bastard in the UK found himself on the sex offender registry for having relations with a bike,Carin and I have had this odd fascination with stories about people humping stuff. It’s not that we’re looking for pointers or anything, it’s more about what will and won’t get you labeled a pervert in …
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Speaking of Bicycle Bob…
Now, if you’re going to put people who hump bikes on sex-offender registries, put this guy on.
Turn Me On And I’ll Suck It
We haven’t had a good guy getting busted for having sex with something story in a while, sohere’s a Polish man who was fired from a building job at a children’s hospital after he was caught humping a vacuum cleaner. Hopefully the justice system will work as it should, because if our old buddy bicycle …
What a Boob! And I’m Not Talking About The Mannequin
Ok, I love this story, both because it involves a guy getting his weener stuck in a mannequin’s boobs, and because British writing is some beautiful stuff. How often do you see the word “whinging” in a news article? Yup, this guy bought a plastic model of a female bust, sold by a company who …
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I’ve Got A Bike, You Can Ride It If You Like
Robert Stewart, the man who earned himself a spot in his local sex offender registry after being caught engaging in a little…uh…um…pedalphilia,has been sentenced to3 years probation. Sheriff Colin Miller said: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one …
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In Scotland, They Don’t Screw Around!
Wow! Years ago, in Scotland, there must have been a lot of sex-offenders who weren’t caught before they did something ghastly horrible. Why else would they throw people on the registry for screwing a bike, and now getting it on with pavement. At least this one, I can half understand because it was in full …
I Want To Ride It Where I Like
I had no idea this was a crime and haven’t the foggiest clue why anyone would do it, but a UK man has been registered as a sex offender after being caughtfucking a bike. Robert Stewart earned himself a hearing at Ayr Sheriff Court following the incident last October when two “extremely shocked” cleaners at …