There’s a guy who, when we see each other, will sometimes try to hit me with a blind joke I haven’t heard yet. As any blind person who has ever had a conversation will tell you, however, this isn’t the easiest thing to do. After a certain point we’ve just heard everything, some of it …
Category Archives: jokes
The Pickle Slicer
Another one that I would have bet money was already here since it’s come through my mail so many times. Bill had worked in a pickle factory for many years. One night, he confessed to his wife that for a while he had had a very strong urge to stick his penis into the pickle …
What Did He Name Them?
Another one I thought was already up here. A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and realizes that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy …
I Am the Very Model Of A Newsgroup Personality
This one dates back to at least 2002, but still seems pretty relevant to current internet times. I’m not sure who wrote it. The only guess I’ve managed to find is novelist Tom Holt, but that’s just somebody’s guess. Great job, whoever you are. I am the very model of a Newsgroup personality. I intersperse …
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What Does That Mean
I thought this one had gone up years ago since a bunch of people have sent it to me, but it seems I’m wrong. So since I just saw it again… A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it …
Who Do You Want To Be
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. “Sisters,” he says. “You have all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.” The first nun says, “I want to …
Gotta Hate When That Happens
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally grabbed a bottle of Liquid Paper. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
How Many Didn’t?
I feel pretty smart today. I don’t get to say that very often, so I’m going to take a moment to enjoy it. “Why do you feel smart today,” none of you asked? “Well, no one in particular, I solved one of those riddles on Mental Floss in like three seconds this morning. Pretty cool, …
And You Shouldn’t Unlock Him, Either
Q: What do you call a computer teacher who abuses his students? A: A pdf-file
I’m Offended
I got insulted by a Canadian dyslexic today. He called me a horse.