Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it? What you might expect if the U.S. government continues to dabble in religion — yet continues to satisfy political correctness. Take a deep breath before you continue: Our [U.S.] Father, whose predominant residence pattern is widely perceived as being in an exo-atmospheric environment, your name shall be treated, …
Category Archives: jokes
What’s For Lunch
Another old one it doesn’t look like I’ve posted before. An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. As they stopped to eat lunch, the Irishman complained, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for …
These Meat Eaters Won’t Be Denied
Speaking of vegetarian options, I was looking at Twitter one day, and came across this comedy sketch, which made me laugh, really really hard. I only wish it was a little louder. Here puss puss puss!
Richard Jeni’s Albums Are On iTunes Now. This Is Awesome
I’ve posted a few Richard Jeni videos here before, so I figure I should share the message I got from his newsletter the other day. He’s one of my favourite comics, so this news makes me really happy. Hi Everyone, We are so happy to announce that Rich’s comedy catalog is now available for digital …
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Bible Salesmen
This one’s a classic. I remember telling it to people all the time when I was a little kid. The minister realized his Church was getting into serious financial trouble. However, while checking the Church storeroom, he discovered dozens of cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday …
Bob The Undertaker
Bob, an undertaker, came home with a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I had a terrible day,” replied Bob. “I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn’t get him into a body …
Hardware Store
I thought about putting this one up earlier when I saw it the first time, but didn’t. But now that it’s found me twice… A woman goes into the small-town hardware store and tells the owner she needs a drawer pull handle to replace a broken one. He gets out one that matches her description …
I Said What? You’re Not Deaf?
Not sure where this ranks on the best pranks ever list, but it’s pretty damn good. Jeff Francoeur’s El Paso Chihuahuas teammates managed to convince him for weeks that one of the team’s pitchers, Jorge Reyes, was deaf. They managed to get everyone to go along with it to such a degree that they even …
Two Buffalo
This is awful. I love it. Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, “Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most moth-eaten, miserable beasts I have ever seen.” One of the buffalo turned to the other and said, “You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word.”
Now I Want A Beavertail!
We need to fix something. Steve’s never had a beavertail! … At which point tons of people think I’m actually talking about eating a beaver’s tail. No no no. There are these fried pastry things that look like a beaver’s tail. Since I grew up near Ottawa, our family would go to Ottawa a lot, …