I’ve seen this one about 3 times today. I’ve laughed every time. A man received the following text from his neighbor: “I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I’m …
Category Archives: jokes
Not In My Back Yard
As I was writing last night’s post about the completely ridiculous opposition to a new women’s shelter in Cambridge, my mind kept drifting back to this old George Carlin bit. He pretty much nails it, as usual.
$20 Quickie
A man is walking home one night when he spots a woman in the shadows. “Quick fun just $20,” she whispers seductively as he gets to her. He’d never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell? It’s been awhile, he’s running early, and it’s only $20. So he steps into the …
Bill Hicks’ Nearly Lost 1993 Late Show With David Letterman Performance
This is really cool, and one of the reasons why when I’m actually up watching a late night talkshow, it’s always Letterman. Bill Hicks performed on his show many times during his career, but for some reason, Dave had an appearance he made in late 1993 removed from the show, never to be seen. As …
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Merry…Christmas?
So um, guys? Where did 2013 go? Who ate it? It feels like we’re just getting warmed up, but here we are, getting ready for Christmas. Exactly how did that happen? I started writing this yesterday when we were in the middle of one hell of an ice storm, in which the cops are telling …
I’ve Wondered That Myself
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle. Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it …
Seeback!
This one’s a bit of a groaner, but I like it. It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: “Ames” “Here!” “Jenson” “Here!” “Jones” “Here!” “Magersky” “Here!” “Seeback” No answer. “SEEBACK! The troops remained totally silent. …
A Sailor, A Pirate, And How Much Did You Say That Package Massage Was Going To Be?
I’ll get to the joke in a second, but first I need to tell you what happened when I opened that discount massage package email. How much do you suppose the discount was? Come on, guess. Of all the numbers in the world they could have chosen, they went with 69% off! I swear I’m …
Massages And Pregnancies
Here’s how awake I’m not. I just got an email advertising a deal on “massage packages,” and for a minute I was like wait, they’re allowed to sell package massages? So yeah, have another joke. I think that’s the safest thing to do. A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, …
Why Italians Leave Their Families Their Guns
Right now I’m going through a bunch of old email since even after an entire pot of tea, I don’t feel like I’m quite awake enough to tackle anything that involves any kind of serious writing thought or reading comprehension. Side note: Oldest email I have at the moment is dated March 8th, 2012. That’s …
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