A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. A waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table cloth while …
Category Archives: jokes
Your Name Is An Anagram
A boy walks into the living room and says “hey Dad, I’m curious. Why did you name my sister ‘Teresa?’” “Well son, your mother really likes Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter,” he answers. He pauses a moment and then asks, “you do know what an anagram is, right?” “Yes dad, he replies. …
I Didn’t Know
A teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He’s a little skeptical, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression on them that she will reward him with sex. He agrees, and extremely excited …
What’s The Password
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender what the WiFi password is. “You gotta buy a drink first,” says the bartender. “Okay” says the guy, “I’ll have a martini.” Time passes, and one martini has turned into three before he finally asks for the password again. The bartender says, “yougottabuyadrinkfirst, …
Should We Tell Him?
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree. He let out a deep sigh and started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high, long branch and slowly walked to the end. He turned, spread all four flippers, and jumped. Landing at the bottom in a pile of …
Statues
A male statue and a female statue are in a park. They’re both stark naked and for years they’ve been staring at each other. One day, God comes down and brings them to life. The male statue says, “Do you wanna do what I wanna do?” She says, “Well, hell yeah.” So off they go into …
I’m Thankful For Free Turkey
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?” “Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.” “I tried,” …
What Is This?
This joke is very bad (just the way I like ’em), but it does have me wanting a daiquiri. Might take the edge off my traditional post-dentist headache. Hmmm… Doctor Jones likes to stop into his local bar after work for an almond daiquiri. One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses …
Hit By A Truck
Didn’t expect this one to go the way it did. A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies standing there. Is there a problem,” he asks? One of the deputies asks if he is married. “I am,” he replies. …
Are You From Ireland?
I was in a pub last Saturday night, and after drinking a few I noticed two very robust-looking women at the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?” “It’s Wales, you idiot!”, One of them snapped back. I immediately apologized. “I’m sorry,” I said. “are …