It’s Not My Fault That You’re An Idiot

So here’s a completely garbage road that I hope our courts are smart enough never to go down. If you send a text to a driver and they have an accident, you could be held liable: expert An insurance and legal expert says texters could be held liable for any damages if they message someone …

If This Isn’t Where The Term Criminal Court Came From, It Maybe Should Have Been

I’d have to go back and check to be absolutely sure, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that this, by far, is the oldest Master Criminals story we’ve ever featured here. It dates all the way back to 1725 and involves two robbers taking each other to court for fraud after their partnership went south. …

If You Don’t Open Your Mouth To Say Stupid Things, No One Will Knock Out Your Tooth

Manhattan idiot David Kupferstein, 36, is suing a strip club for nearly $1 million over a missing tooth caused by his inability to keep his fool mouth shut. David Kupferstein, 36, stopped with pals at the Hustler Club in March 2015 when one of the dancers chatted up the group. “She kept on talking to …

Lawyer Lawyer Pants On Fire

Something tells me Stephen Gutierrez is going to have a hard time living this one down. A Miami defense lawyer’s pants burst into flames Wednesday afternoon as he began his closing arguments in front of a jury — in an arson case. Stephen Gutierrez, who was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was …

Chop, Steele, Cook, Get Sued

Unless this is a case of me not doing my damn job, the geniuses who brought you Chop and Steele and Chef Keith really are being sued by Gray Television, essentially because they were made to look bad when one of their television stations didn’t do *its* damn job. Help them out if you can. …

Lol Im Suin Ur Ass 4 Teh Movie

On one hand,I have a feeling Brandon Vezmar might be a little bit nuts. But on the other, I’m totally on board with the logic behind suing a failed date for $17.31 for the cost of a movie ticket and pizza because she chose texting over the date you paid for. Seriously, if you can’t …

Next, Maybe Try Fabricating Some Morals

Generally speaking, I have a lot of faith in the Canadian and American legal systems. But let me tell you, if it weren’t for these Appeals Court judges slow roasting this here lawyer for arguing, for 16 years it should be noted, that social workers in Orange County, California, had no idea and could not …

Somebody’s Living Up To His Name Again

Perhaps you recall Dr. Jake Heiney, who was charged with and subsequently convicted of doing unauthorized things to the body parts for which he is named while he was supposed to be practising medicine. Well, he’s in the news again, this time for acting like one of those body parts for which he is named, …