May Masturbation Take Place Not, May Meth Not Cloud Your Mind, No Officer To Say You’ll Blow, No Bars You’ll Be Behind (Updated)

Maybe Kevin Adkins had nobody to kiss New Year’s Eve. Perhaps that’s why he was so intent on taking matters into his own hands. Or it might have been the meth. Yeah, that’s probably it. Stay off the meth, everyone. I haven’t tried most of them, but there are some drugs that look like they …

Now That’s What I Call Songs Sung To The Tune Of “Two Princes” By The Spin Doctors 5

Matt, without whom none of us would be here and whose podcast you should listen to and maybe even Patronize if you haven’t already, threw this at me while we were talking on Twitter. Don’t ask me to explain it, just enjoy it in all of its wonderful stupidity. Do you like all kinds of …

The Strange Things We Dream Of

I need to get better about writing down the dreams I actually remember, like the one where a group of burglars was trying to climb our building so Carin built a giant slingshot and used those biscuits that come with Popeyes Chicken to shoot them down. Every time she fired she’d gleefully sing the little …