Here comes our latest shoplifter who chose to do it with 70 cops on hand for Shop With A Cop. This one is so head-slappingly stupid, it needs its own soundtrack. Not only did she pass two police motorcycles in the lobby of the Target store and several officers in their official uniforms once she …
Category Archives: master criminals
There’s A Body Scanner? What A Bummer
This, essentially, is your standard, garden variety get yourself arrested so that you can smuggle things to a buddy on the inside via your inside story, and I wouldn’t even be posting it were it not for some of the items in question. Marijuana? Fine. Tobacco? Ok. A couple of knives? Woe woe woe hang …
And A Huge Interception By The Local Constabulary
The Grey Cup is fantastic. It’s a big, fun, important Canadian event that many of us will stop what we’re doing to watch. But that’s not always the best idea. Sometimes you really should finish off whatever you’re up to before you settle in to enjoy the game. Like let’s say you’re in the midst …
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Film Him Right In The Pokey
Listen, guys. You know how some of you enjoy yelling “fuck her right in the pussy” at female news reporters in the hopes that you’ll get on TV and impress all your buddies and maybe even become internet famous for 30 or 40 seconds or whatever the fuck? It’s not funny. Ever. It is, as …
At Least His Backpack Was Bright
When you bring a change of clothes with you to an armed robbery, that’s called thinking ahead. when you bring a Pokemon backpack with you to an armed robbery, that’s called dumb. And weird. Definitely weird. Like seriously, you’re a grown-up, man. What the shit? Funzail Woods was arrested after using an ax as a …
It’s Going To Be A Nice Mommy Daughter Day At The Pot Shop. Well, Sort Of
I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that 33-year-old Stephanie Stinson of Winter Haven, Florida isn’t a great example for the youngsters to follow. I dare say they’d do well not to stand in front of it, either. The trouble (at least the trouble we know about anyhow) began when Stinson …
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Keister Surprise
I know in the grand scheme of things Kinder Surprise eggs are pretty small, but you know what’s even smaller? Your exit hatch. So the fact that now current Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre resident Damian O’Reilly seems to have set an unofficial record by managing to fit eight of them into his is, in its own …
More Like Sputtering To A Sad Halt Like A Couple Of Losers ON Empty
Before you run from the police, you should really think long and hard about the potential ramifications of that decision. What if you don’t get away? Is whatever this is worth going to jail over? What if you cause an accident? Is possibly killing yourself or someone else a risk you’re truly willing to take? …
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I Was Just Trying A Different Door Like You Said
I likely would have posted this regardless because it’s the sort of thing we tend to enjoy, but it’s nearer and dearer to my heart than usual because I used to live in Woodstock and still have some family there. Guess what, guys. You’re officially smarter than at least one neighbour. Congratulations. The 41-year-old man, …
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The Sun And Jocsan Feliciano Rosado: Two Things That Weren’t Very Bright On Monday
What can’t this week’s eclipse do? It excited, it educated, it brought people together, it helped the police catch a suspected car thief…wait, what? Rosado parked the stolen car at Harbor Freight on Osceola Parkway in Kissimmee, and bought a welder’s mask to safely view the solar eclipse. As Rosado was standing in the parking …