Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
At least once we’ve covered would-be robbers with handwriting so terrible that their victims had trouble figuring out what exactly they were up to. In that case, the poor penmanshiped perpetrator was juuuuuuuust smart enough to get out of Dodge when it became clear that things were heading south. Dion Taylor, on the other hand, …
Continue reading “Excuse Me, Mr. Sketchy Looking Guy? What The Heck Is A Rubbery?”
Today’s handy criminal tip: If you’re going to give a police officer a false name, maybe make sure you’re not still wearing the employee ID that has your real one on it. Police say 24-year-old Keyonna M. Waters was reportedly parked in a fire lane at the Liberty Plaza Shopping Center when an officer on …
There are a lot of better ones, but on the surface at least, sending a fake obituary to the newspaper to throw the police off your trail maybe isn’t the absolute dirt worst idea in the world. but if you’re going to do that, you’re going to need to leave a contact number because the …
Continue reading “It’s Me, Grandma. The Ghost Of Dumbshit Present”
I figure I might as well ruin two songs with this case. Remember the story about the guy getting shot with an arrow? Well, a few days ago, Eric Amaral pleaded guilty, and is going away for a long time. When they charged him with the murder, there was a small part of me that …
Police in Minnesota are looking for a group of six or seven people in possession of several hundred dollars that doesn’t belong to them and possibly one brain between them that might, if we’re being extremely generous. When police arrived, the Eastside Grillz employee told police he had a valuable piece of evidence — he …
Continue reading “When We Catch Him, We’ll Grill Him. Hopefully He’ll Tell Us The Tooth”
This isn’t the worst getaway ever attempted, but it ought to be in the conversation for at least an honourable mention. Oh, and it probably deserves one more thing, too. According to the Kannapolis Police Department, officers responded to a report of shots fired into the Rent-A-Center on Cannon Boulevard around 2 a.m. Wednesday. When …
Not many details here, but this sort of effort is a clear sign that you’re either in the fuck it, I don’t care anymore and am about to retire from the life of crime phase or that maybe it’s an I never really wanted this job in the first place thing. Barrie police say a …
On some level, I’m pretty sure I understand what Adriana Salas was thinking. If I were driving around in a stolen truck, it sure would be nice to know whether or not the cops knew that I was driving around in a stolen truck. But there’s wanting to know and being dedicated to finding out, …
On the same morning within about 2 and a half hours of each other, two separate theft attempts in Abbotsford, B.C., were foiled by the weather. The snow, to be specific. The second and I think slightly less humourous of the two happened around 7:15 A.M. on the morning of February 7th (happy birthday, Carin!) …
Continue reading “Oh The Weather Outside Was Frightful, And To Thieves The Fates Were Spiteful”
Jeff Lytle may or may not have just learned a very important lesson. I say may or may not because when you start off from a position of such overt yet preventable dipshittery, the capacity for learning is by no means guaranteed. The arrest came after Lytle tried to reach out to a hitman named …
Continue reading “Sir, You’ve Got The Wrong Number. But Officer, You’ve Got The Wrong Idea”