I’m fairly certain I’ve said this before, but it seems it needs repeating. If you’re going to take a taxi to a robbery, first of all don’t, but just as importantly, don’t stiff the driver. It won’t end well. Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, of Ocean Township, called for a taxi to a …
Category Archives: master criminals
Stop! In The Name Of The Log!
The police have a really hard job, but I bet that some days it’s pretty fun. Like on the day when some dude you’re chasing makes it easy for you by plowing straight into a tree and knocking himself cold. That sounds like a riot. According to the Michigan State Police, around 1:10 a.m. on …
Snitches Get Stitches, But Attention Gets Detention
“Due to snitches, everyone entering my home is subject to being searched. All cell phones and drinks will be left outside. If you’re not a snitch, it won’t offend you if I search you.” You will be shocked, shocked I say to learn that upon seeing a sign bearing those words on the door of …
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Smile, You’re On What Should Be A Pretty Obvious Candid Camera
Here’s one for the it’s only a matter of time files. Police are looking for a man who got away with $75 in cash from and did about the same amount of damage to an amusement park photo booth. He shouldn’t be too hard to find, since photo booths have cameras in them. Who knew? …
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On The Bright Side, Maybe He’ll Be Able To Get Medical Marijuana For The Pain
At this point, I’m sure that everyone but the people doing it has figured out that using Facebook to set up crimes makes you a bad criminal. I’m so sure, in fact, that stories where that’s the only thing that goes wrong hardly even register with me anymore. But criminals being what they are, plenty …
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Don’t The Dew
Here’s a refreshing bit of honesty or self-awareness or something. A man caught trying to provide a fraudulent urine sample for a circuit court-mandated drug test identified himself as “Dumb Ass” when the arresting deputy asked him his first name, according to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office report. Asked if he’d just responded with “Dumb …
It’s Fun To Steal From The YMCA, But It Doesn’t Pay Very Well
There’s no sound, but what you’re watching is surveillance video of a fellow who might have a tough time paying his bail when the police eventually catch up with him. The surveillance footage, recorded Sept. 10 at the YMCA Doris Mechanick Child Development Center in Indio, shows a man drop into the playroom through the …
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“Here, Let Me Hold The Door For You.” “Here, Let Me Hold You Without Bail.”
I think I just figured out why people can be such pricks sometimes. You see, they’ve all learned from the case of Kayvon Mavaddat that any nice act, no matter how simple, just ain’t worth the risk of being arrested on a pile of outstanding warrants. Or maybe people are just pricks because they’re pricks. …
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I Want You To Want Me
And now, today’s reminder that taunting the cops online almost never does your freedom prospects any good. Mack Yearwoodhe used his "Wanted of the Week" poster as his profile pic on social media-SPD arrested him on 8/30/16 pic.twitter.com/J6Cjfjduau — Stuart Police Dept. (@cityofstuart) August 31, 2016 Yes, this Mack Yearwoodhe fellow did indeed decide that …
Who’s Goin’ Dumbass Huntin’? Cops Is Goin’ Dumbass Huntin’!
In case the title makes no sense to you… The festival in question is the Gathering of the Juggalos, so the ICP reference seemed appropriate. In some ways, I’m sure selling drugs at a music festival is harder than it sounds. It’s loud, for a start. A lot of attendees are paying you no mind …
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