Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
It’s not often that a serial public masturbation story boasts logic anywhere near this sound. That’s not to say it was the best idea anyone’s ever had (not even close), but grading on the usual intelligence curve, it’s pretty clear that Benjamin Grafius at least took some time to think things out. Police say a …
Continue reading “The Amish Aren’t Overly Keen On Seeing Your Paradise, Sir”
One moron robbing a store while wearing his court-ordered GPS tracking monitor is bad, but not overly surprising. I mean there’s one in every crowd, right? Two morons robbing a store while wearing their court-ordered GPS monitors is certainly worse, but maybe moron one has a buddy just as dim as he is, moron two …
Continue reading “I’ll Send A GPS To The World. So Will I. Me Too”
I’ve never been the best at remembering to use the chain lock on my door, but maybe I need to try to do better since apparently they work pretty well. Christopher French managed to get a finger stuck in the security chain of the home in Colchester, Essex, on February 25 this year. Police were …
Continue reading “That’s The Sound Of The Man, Stuck Inside The Door Chain”
Timothy Broad sounds like a bit of a garbage human being, having been convicted of his part in robbing a female convenience store clerk at knifepoint. But that said, he’s still good for a moment’s entertainment because his getaway sounds hilarious. If only there was a video. Serial offender Timothy Broad, 30, chose a pedal …
And now, another case of nobody’s looking for you, dude. Authorities in Idaho have released a 911 phone call that resulted in a drug trafficking arrest. The call, released by the Rexburg Police Department, details an incident nearly a year ago on Jan. 23, 2015, when two out-of-state drug traffickers got high and called police …
Continue reading “Tell The Jackwagons We’re Ready For The Paddy Wagon”
There are a number of reasons why I might want to post this story. Our hero speeding past a couple of cops sitting in front of a police station so he could get to court on time is one. Double parking in spaces he’s not supposed to park in in the first place once he …
When you absolutely have to get to Walmart at 3:30 in the morning and the clothes you’re wearing and bags you’re carrying contain any or all of the following: two suboxone strips 0.5 grams of methamphetamine 6.4 grams of marijuana 0.7 grams of unidentified crystals 5 baggies containing 5.2 grams of black tar heroin a …
Continue reading “Did He Think The Cop Would Think He Was The Pharmacist?”
I don’t know if Jason Donte Hayes will wind up being the stupidest criminal of 2016 as this article suggests, but it’ll definitely be safe to shortlist him. According to reports, Hayes disguised himself and entered the home of an elderly couple he used to rent a house from. He woke the woman up with …
One of the hardest questions a person can ask himself is do I have a drug problem? I don’t want to claim I have all the answers, but for future reference, if you get pulled over by the police and can’t even wait until the end of what was about to be a routine traffic …
Continue reading “I’m Hoping For A Warning, But I’m Probably Going To Blow It”
Normally I’d tell a guy like Andrew S. Gordon that he should have quit while he was ahead, but in order for that advice to be of any value he’d have had to have been ahead at some point. Already in jail and upset about it after hiring a hitman who turned out to be …