Normally I’d tell a guy like Andrew S. Gordon that he should have quit while he was ahead, but in order for that advice to be of any value he’d have had to have been ahead at some point. Already in jail and upset about it after hiring a hitman who turned out to be …
Category Archives: master criminals
Who Wants A Crushed One
So it seems that a few weeks before Bud Weisser jumped a fence at the Budweiser brewery, a guy named Miller was busy driving off in a Coors truck, then running himself over with it while trying to get away from the police officers who were chasing him. Around 5:45 a.m. on Monday, Columbus Police …
Did They Find The Car He Used To Get There, I Wonder
Maybe it was raining. Maybe he’d missed his bus, had someplace else to be and realized he wasn’t going to make it. Maybe his leg was bothering him and he didn’t want to walk all the way home on it. Or maybe Courtney Cordell Wheat is simply one of the stupider of the stupid imbeciles …
Continue reading “Did They Find The Car He Used To Get There, I Wonder”
Is Your Brother Home? No, But Since I Don’t Want You To Have Wasted Your Time…
For the sake of Rezwan Hussain, we’ll go over this one more time. If the police come to your house looking for someone who isn’t you, they aren’t looking for you. Stay cool, don’t panic, and whatever you do, don’t throw packages of drugs out the window, especially if their landing spot is right next …
Continue reading “Is Your Brother Home? No, But Since I Don’t Want You To Have Wasted Your Time…”
Pot Head
I’m posting this story for two reasons. 1. To state the obvious. If you need rolling papers, there are much and I do mean much better people to ask for help than the ones down at 911. 2. Because this fella’s name is Kyle Dustin Head, and the police that the nice 911 people sent …
Breaking: I’m In Here
I almost feel bad for laughing at Jasper Harrison here because when it comes right down to it, he did the right thing. Sensing that the police were closing in on he and the rented storage unit that housed his marijuana grow-op, he called 911 and turned himself in. But I do wonder how he …
CSL: The Chimney-Smoked Loser!
Soundtrack time. Years ago, I wrote about a woman’s body being found in a guy’s chimney. Now, I think I’ve found a freakier one. So the story goes that the owner of this house was gone when 19-year-old Cody Caldwell thought it would be a fine home to burglarize. But he wouldn’t smash a window …
This Is A Robbery! Put All The Money Into The Account I Hold Here!
Even though it’s pretty clear that the answer is nothing, I’d still love to know what was going through Paul Neaverson’s head as he planned his daring bank heist. Not having the money he needed to fly to the sight of a job interview, Neaverson, 61, walked himself into a NatWest bank and demanded money. …
Continue reading “This Is A Robbery! Put All The Money Into The Account I Hold Here!”
Dear Victim: Thank You For The Candy. Here Are My Teeth As A Token Of Appreciation. Sincerely, Thief
Some people really don’t do drunk well. It would seem that Connie Frances Perris might just be one of them. And in what may be a case of one relating to the other, she doesn’t appear to be so hot at burglary, either. After breaking into one apartment and finding it occupied, she decided to …
Me, Or Whoever This Dodgy Looking Guy Is, Didn’t Do The Crime, Officer
Here’s something you don’t see every day. A store owner making a video to tell the story of a man who tried to shoplift from him, got caught, ran off, and then went to the police station to complain about the posters of him that ended up around town and in the newspaper the next …
Continue reading “Me, Or Whoever This Dodgy Looking Guy Is, Didn’t Do The Crime, Officer”