Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you’re going to rob a store of one of its fish tanks or quite literally anything else, stop for a leak *before* the heist. This is always true, but especially because the wasps you’re hosing down give zero fucks that the cops are on your trail. …
Continue reading “Wizzing On The Electric Fence Doesn’t Sound So Bad Now”
Part way through the story of John David Martinez’s horribly bungled bank robbery, I started feeling bad for him and thinking maybe I’d have a heart and not post it. I mean the poor guy is nearly 70 years old and he and his wife had been living in a Ramada after being evicted from …
I understand being proud of having been named salesperson of the month down at the Mazda dealership. It feels good to be recognized for working hard at something and ultimately succeeding. Were it me, I might even carry around whatever sort of trophy they gave me for a little while so I could show it …
What do you want to bet this fella was pretty well shit at hide and seek? Jordan Meier was traveling with three passengers at around 9pm when a Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office deputy pulled over his 2002 Chevrolet Monte Carlo on a Lincoln street for a traffic violation. Meier was subsequently “placed into custody for …
I don’t know how you fall asleep while the police are chasing you, but if you’re going to, my guess is you have to be supremely confident, supremely intoxicated, supremely Floridian, Supremely Kevin Lee Barbour or some combination of the four. When the deputy activated his sirens, Barbour allegedly pulled off the road and fled …
I wondered when I’d see another one of these. Thanks, Florida. A Florida man faces allegations of retail theft, accused of shoplifting from a Walmart at a most inopportune time. Grant Scott Timm, 35, was arrested last Wednesday evening on a charge of retail petit theft with a value of $100 or less after he …
Do they have unmarked police stations in Australia? they must, because why else would anyone try breaking into one? Police say the man used a brick paver to smash a window at Kensington Police Station after jumping a side fence at about 6.45pm. He was caught by police after crawling through the hole. He was …
Continue reading “Somebody’s Breaking Into The Police Station! Call The…Get Him, Fellas!”
Some things, no matter how many times you try them, are just never going to go well. This, for instance. “Hey, let me use your gun!” Deondrae Hall asked a Florida detective walking into the Boynton Beach Police Department headquarters. “I need to use your gun to take care of some niggas who robbed me,” …
Continue reading “If You Really Believe In That Serve And Protect Stuff, You’ll Let Me Use Your Gun”
Not much to say here. A couple of goofs took somebody’s iPad while robbing his unlocked vehicle (Stop leaving your doors unlocked no matter how safe you think you are, everyone!), then proceeded to take photos and videos of themselves with it that were automatically uploaded to the rightful owner’s iCloud. Happens every day, it …
I love the show Cops. I could literally watch it for hours. And now that Spike TV has taken to airing entire days worth of it, I often do. Some day, during one of these binges, I need to do my best to keep count of how many times somebody tosses away knives or guns …