Counting Pigs

I don’t know how you fall asleep while the police are chasing you, but if you’re going to, my guess is you have to be supremely confident, supremely intoxicated, supremely Floridian, Supremely Kevin Lee Barbour or some combination of the four. When the deputy activated his sirens, Barbour allegedly pulled off the road and fled …

Welcome To Shoplift With A Cop 2014

I wondered when I’d see another one of these. Thanks, Florida. A Florida man faces allegations of retail theft, accused of shoplifting from a Walmart at a most inopportune time. Grant Scott Timm, 35, was arrested last Wednesday evening on a charge of retail petit theft with a value of $100 or less after he …

Somebody’s Breaking Into The Police Station! Call The…Get Him, Fellas!

Do they have unmarked police stations in Australia? they must, because why else would anyone try breaking into one? Police say the man used a brick paver to smash a window at Kensington Police Station after jumping a side fence at about 6.45pm. He was caught by police after crawling through the hole. He was …

If You Really Believe In That Serve And Protect Stuff, You’ll Let Me Use Your Gun

Some things, no matter how many times you try them, are just never going to go well. This, for instance. “Hey, let me use your gun!” Deondrae Hall asked a Florida detective walking into the Boynton Beach Police Department headquarters. “I need to use your gun to take care of some niggas who robbed me,” …

Easily iDentified

Not much to say here. A couple of goofs took somebody’s iPad while robbing his unlocked vehicle (Stop leaving your doors unlocked no matter how safe you think you are, everyone!), then proceeded to take photos and videos of themselves with it that were automatically uploaded to the rightful owner’s iCloud. Happens every day, it …

But Shouldn’t I Get Credit For Getting All Those Drugs Off The Streets?

I can only assume that Sylvia Mashiah had been doing a bit of quality assurance testing on the product she was attempting to smuggle into the United States, because there really is no other way to explain this. Instead of driving onward to her destination as most of us would after having been cleared to …

Knock Knock. Who’s There? A Drug Dealer. A Drug Dealer Who? A Drug Dealer Who Just Got Busted

Police raid drug houses every day, but it’s not every day they have to do so little legwork to catch the dealers. While police were searching the house, a man knocked on the closed front door. When police asked who it was, he identified himself as a drug dealer. Officers opened the door and the surprised man …

Your Lawyer Is Funnier Than You

Honestly, I’m not sure what’s worse here. Allison Voner shooting a video of herself near a courthouse using cocaine and heroin, illegally driving a car and ranting about her probation officer, her putting that video on Facebook for everyone to see including the aforementioned probation officer or her lawyer saying with a straight face that …

If Eating Helps You Be Less Drunk, Then Eating This Here Paperwork Is A Good Idea, Right?

Nobody wants a DWI. But if you’re gonna get one you’re gonna get one, regardless of whether or not you succeed in your efforts to ingest the printout of your breathalyzer test results. An officer arrested him after suspecting he had been drinking. The officer brought Desormes to the state police barracks, where he was …