I probably should have known better, but I didn’t think things like this actually happened. WICKER PARK — The owner of a Division Street bar got an unpleasant but slightly comical surprise when an apparent burglar managed to remove a lock on the bar’s front door — but couldn’t get in because he was pulling …
Category Archives: master criminals
Good Cop Bad Cop
Either Emmanuel Augustine shouldn’t hold his breath waiting for that big promotion to detective, or they’ve got some really good undercover officers in Harris County, Texas’ Precinct 4 Constable’s Office. How good? Good enough that they managed to net a patrol deputy with 5 years of service to Harris County, Texas’ Precinct 4 Constable’s Office …
Did Somebody Say McShooting?
In case any McDonald’s employees were wondering, the number of times you can screw up the same person’s order in one day before that person takes a shot at you is apparently two. On the evening of Feb. 9, Torres and an unnamed driver reportedly stopped for food at the McDonald’s location in the 400 …
Time To Face The Music
It’s not every day you can get shot in the face, wind up better off than the person who shot you and do a great service to all humanity at the same time, but now and then you have a lucky day when you really need one. The incident happened Dec. 14 near the Alemany …
Deathamphetamines
Getting caught in a lie sucks. But you know what probably sucks more? Being so afraid of getting caught in a lie that you’d rather take a big ‘ol slug of meth juice to prove to the friendly officer that no, you’re not smuggling drugs across the border. And you know what I’ll bet sucks …
The Geezer Bandits Have A New Friend
It’s been a few years, but somebody has finally gotten around to robbing banks while hooked up to oxygen again. It’s a strategy that’s been marginally successful in the past, as you may recall. Police aren’t sure if this latest case is an actual oxygen needer or one of our readers deciding “you know, that’s …
What Does This Say? Why Would I Want To Pop My Mummy In The Bog? That Makes No Sense
Perhaps Jamal Garrett should have been a doctor instead of a criminal. Doctors seem to get along just fine with some truly shideous handwriting, but bank robbers…not so much, it seems. Police in Antioch, California say that Garrett, 29, walked into a Wells Fargo bank on Monday and handed a note to a clerk. But …
No Officer, I’m A Victim Too…Of Myself
You know that home invasion trick where you realize that the cops are on their way so you convince one of your victims to tie you up and say that you’re a victim too? Yeah, that works about as well as everyone smarter than you would expect. As police and SWAT units arrived, one suspect …
Kill Them With Kindness. But If That Fails, That’s What The Gun Is For
It’s become a pretty common lament that good customer service is getting harder and harder to find. Gone, say many, are the days when a friendly disposition and a few well placed pleases and thank yous would get you what you were after even when the old shopkeep insisted it wasn’t possible. But while there …
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Run And Spill My Curly Fries, Run And Spill My Curly Fries…
How about a soundtrack? Good luck getting that out of your head. And the Newsroom 11 intro at the end just made me feel every bit of old that the commercial hadn’t already gotten around to. Now on to business. Pretty much immediately, we get a good sense that there’s something not quite right about …
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