Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
How about a soundtrack? Good luck getting that out of your head. And the Newsroom 11 intro at the end just made me feel every bit of old that the commercial hadn’t already gotten around to. Now on to business. Pretty much immediately, we get a good sense that there’s something not quite right about …
Continue reading “Run And Spill My Curly Fries, Run And Spill My Curly Fries…”
It’s safe to say that Ariel Sinclair didn’t think her cunning plan all the way through. The 23-year-old assistant Rite Aid manager apparently saw an opportunity when she realized that hey, I have access to this here lottery machine and can make it do whatever I want. According to investigators, what she wanted was to …
Ok seriously, what in the actual hell is going on here? Yesterday I mentioned the recent proliferation of tubesnake tales on the site, and woke up this morning thinking that maybe today would be a day where we could talk about something else for awhile. In an attempt to make that happen, I decided to …
Continue reading “He Shoots, But If He Could Score He Wouldn’t Be Doing This Kind Of Thing”
The story of Jose Angel Perales Is…I’m not even sure what it is. Gross? Yeah, let’s go with gross. According to a court complaint, Perales entered the lingerie store through an unlocked door around 4:10 AM. A police review of store surveillance video revealed that Perales–5’ 11” and 325 pounds–“walked around the store and shopped.” …
More robbers than you’d think have made the mistake of filling out an application at a place they’ve held up, and plenty of them have written holdup notes on papers that have their names and addresses on them. But then there’s Troy F. Mitchell, who pulled off the rare feat of doing both in the …
Remember when you were growing up and all those teachers and parents and grandparents kept telling you to live your life straight and narrow? The reason they kept saying that is because sometimes the alternative is dying widely scattered in all directions, and they wanted better for you. Two men were killed in an explosion …
This is why your mom always told you to flush the toilet when you were done. Well ok, maybe not this specifically because I doubt your mom anticipated she’d be raising a criminal fool, but it would be pretty embarrassing to have your dumb ass hauled in for first-degree burglary because you didn’t listen to …
At first, Westley C. French, Richard Andrew Genn and Gregory Raymond Carson weren’t doing too badly on their little crime spree. After beating and robbing the new owner of a truck that one of them had recently sold because they wanted it back, they ditched it a few hours later, I suppose figuring the police …
Smuggling marijuana to your friends in prison by way of an arrow fired into the exercise yard is one of those best worst ideas. Best because it saves you having to cram it up your exit hatch and risk having it discovered during a search, but worst because if your aim is off, you could …
We’ve seen stories of burglars falling asleep on the job before, but this is a little bit different. Domonique Pinkard and Julian Evangelist broke into a house intending to take things. While Evangelist ran off with a TV, some clothes and various other items, Pinkard managed only to pocket a few hundred dollars worth of …
Continue reading “Boy, Are These Jewels Ever Heavy. I’ve Gotta Lie Down”