When advertising something for sale online, it is wise to include a photo of the item in question so that prospective buyers can more easily tell whether or not they’re interested. Also wise? Taking a gander at that photo before uploading it just in case the big ol bag of meth that is not for …
Category Archives: master criminals
Wake UP, Methew
You may read many funnier things today, but the description of how this fellow was discovered hit me the right way just now. “On Friday, September 17th, Matthew Williamson, 37, was charged with Unlawful Breaking and Entering a Vehicle (UBEV) and Theft of Property 3rd Degree. Pleasant Grove police officers transported him to Jefferson County …
Catch And Release
Today’s handy criminal hint: When attempting to pull the old steal a car from a dealership and then trade it in at another dealership scam, it is helpful to keep in mind that thing I just said about *another* dealership. According to First Coast News and some other Florida outlets, police in Jacksonville responded to …
Mmmm…Crookies!
Today’s lesson: Never rob a bakery. If their security cameras get a clear shot of your face, it might just wind up baked onto cookies that are then sold to the public. Soon enough, you will be recognized, arrested and eaten. A Milwaukee man faces charges for allegedly burglarizing a bakery on the city’s south …
Never Get High While In Charge Of The Supply
There’s never a good time to fall asleep at a red light, but doing so in the middle of the afternoon while you’re driving around with a veritable pharmacy worth of illegal substances in your car is especially bad. A fellow from Corunna, Ontario found this out the hard way recently when a nice officer …
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Sir, We Donut Want You Eating In Here
It seems to me that if I were an identity thief and a shoplifter who was already on probation, I would want to keep a low profile. What I would not want is to be caught doing something silly like, say, being an asshole to store clerks during a pandemic. Guelph police were first called …
Jail Trail
I suppose this is how the story would have gone if Hansel and Gretel were Drug trafficking morons. They were smart enough to plan their daring robbery in advance, but then…oh then. The men and another accomplice robbed a CVS in Clearwater about 5 a.m. on New Year’s Day, waving guns at employees and binding …
Alright Boys, Throw The Book AT Him
As a thief, your job is to take things with you, not leave them behind. This becomes especially important when the thing left behind is a notebook with a bunch of incriminating evidence and identifying information in it. Robert Shull Goddard, 49, allegedly broke into a house in the Hillwood neighborhood on Jan. 29 by …
I Can See Some ID. Please, Sir
It’s been a while since a fella has given the cops a false name even though his real one is tattooed on his body, but I’ve found another one. It’s one from a couple years back, but since when has that stopped us? Say hello to Matthew Bushman. Police were looking to speak to him …
I Think I Know The Answer To Most Of These Questions
What kind of person murders someone? What kind of person thoroughly documents himself murdering someone? What kind of person writes the word “homicide” on the media containing the thorough documentation of him murdering someone? What kind of person drops the media containing the thorough documentation of him murdering someone with the word “homicide” written on …
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