And I thought Donald tar heels black was dumb. Larry Shawn Taylor is way, way dumber. If you’re going to rob folks, you really shouldn’t go out and get loads of noticeable tattoos. Let’s count ’em. He had “get” tattooed on one hand and “money” on the other, and flames tattooed on one arm. But …
Category Archives: master criminals
The Cat’s Out Of The Bag, And Griffin’s In The Can
It looks like Keith the cat downloaded the child porn Griffin will be going away for a long time. And obviously he realizes the cat isn’t that talented, because he pleaded no contest. I was waiting for the in-court demonstrations of the impossibility of a cat downloading porn.
Now He’ll Have To Pay His Debt To Society
And I thought handing over two pieces of ID while robbing a place and handing over a driver’s license while trying to cash a forged cheque were dumb. This guy was convinced to fill out an application for a bank loan! Mark Smith came in with a note, all ready to rob the bank. But …
Continue reading “Now He’ll Have To Pay His Debt To Society”
Show Me Your Face And I’ll Show You The Money
If only all robbers were this easy to dissuade. If all you had to do was demand they take off their ski mask, foiling robbers would be a breeze! The thing is, it appears that Rashad D. Wilson had a gun. But still, after being asked twice to take off his mask, he just ran …
Continue reading “Show Me Your Face And I’ll Show You The Money”
The Number You Have Reached Is Not The Dealer.
We have another texted wrong number, this guy was looking for drugs and texted the sheriff instead of a dealer. If I were the dealer, I’d be changing my number. The funniest part is what happened when the sheriff sent a detective to meet with them for the deal. The detective found the teens…with their …
Continue reading “The Number You Have Reached Is Not The Dealer.”
Betcha Can’t Get me! Oh! You Can!
Hey there unnamed 19-year-old German bank robber. If you managed to get away, and police got your age, height and method of getaway wrong, do not send taunting emails to them and two newspapers to correct them. Just lay low and chuckle to yourself. Oh, you didn’t? They traced the IP and came and scooped …
He Thought He Could Slip Right Through!
Hey there Kevin Michael Harley. Good on you for thinking of a way to not leave fingerprints when breaking into a restaurant, but if your whole body gets stuck in a grease vent, those socks on your hands aren’t going to do you much good.
Shop With A Cop, Then Take A Ride With Them
There are good times to shoplift and there are bad times to shoplift. There are also, as Shane Alexander and Jason Vantress are nowwell aware, dirt awful downright shitty times to shoplift. Times like Fred Meyer’s annual “Shop With a Cop” back to school event, for instance. Our hapless heroes of bumbling burglary were not …
Continue reading “Shop With A Cop, Then Take A Ride With Them”
Smile For The Camera And Say "Guilty!"
The fates were conspiring against Glenn R. Lambright. He was going to get busted for stealing. He stole a family’s bag right when they were taking family photos, and he got caught in the shot. Good luck with convincing folks that you’re not guilty, especially since you told cops where you dumped the rest of …
She Won’t Get The Job, But She’ll Have No Problem Getting The Conviction
Here’s a dumb thing to do. Steal some clothes from a store, then come back to said store to apply for a job, leave your resume, then steal some more, while wearing recently-stolen clothes! It’s been done. This unnamed woman showed up to apply for a job at a clothing store. After handing over her …
Continue reading “She Won’t Get The Job, But She’ll Have No Problem Getting The Conviction”