Shawn Martines was in a bit of a fix. Ya see, he had allowed a girl to put handcuffs on him, thinking they were toy ones. He soon found out that they were real, and couldn’t get them off. Well, he had gotten the left off, but the right was too hard. So, he decided …
Category Archives: master criminals
Spottedbird Has A Spotted Neck
Royce J. Spottedbird Jr. has joined the ranks of those who have pulled a wolfname. Crazy that he’s the fifth fellow in two years to do this. If you have your name tattooed on your neck, even though you may think you have warrants out for you, you shouldn’t give a false name. If you …
You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, But The Flowers Bring Themselves To Me
Ricky Flowerskinda sorta had the right idea. I’m running from the cops, he thought. So best I scale this here high fence, drop down the other side and run like the wind! Unfortunately for him, he ran into 2 problems. 1. the 30 foot fence he scaled was topped with barbed wire.And2. The drop on …
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He’s A Career Criminal, But The Career Was Less Than Stellar
I would usually say that Nathan Wayne Pugh is not meant for a life of crime, but he has a criminal history spanning 30 years. Well, I guess he’s not meant for a successful life of crime because he always gets busted. This epic bank robbery fail is no exception. Pugh: Teller, I’d like to …
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She May Be Old, But She’s Not Slow
Raymond Shepard has joined the ranks of those not meant for a life of crime. He followed 69-year-old Carol Costello out of a store, intent on mugging her. After all, he had seen she had thousands of dollars in cash on her. Shepard and another guy followed her for a distance, then blocked her in …
Her Next Charity Will Be Called Change For My Bail Money
Jen told me about this one. Here’s a sad note. If anyone gave money to a charity known as “Change for a Cure”, and it sounds like a lot of people did, you just pissed it down a hole. The charity’s founder, Ashley Kirilow, is obviously severely messed up. She told everybody she had cancer, …
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Tar Heels Tattoo Puts Police On Your Heels
If you’re going to deal drugs and rob people, it’s a good idea not to have a giant, easily identifiable tattoo on your face, wouldn’t ya say there, Donald Shaun Black? A tattoo rooting for the Tar Heels is going to be pretty memorable, and it was, and helped get you and your spitting, cursing …
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>Maxwell Not So Smart
>Here’s a new excuse to give to police when you’re caught burglarizing the same house you burglarized last year. I was just leaving a thank you note. I just got out of jail. And sir, what about these open drawers and this jewellery you had gathered up near this here crack pipe? Um, erm, well …
From Soft Shell To Small Cell
The future’s looking bright for the child of 38-year-old Julie Bailey. I mean, when Bailey is pregnant, gets drunk, and goes out to rob a Taco John’s for crack money, how can things get much worse? She couldn’t even manage to pull out a hammer from her pocket! And she was walking around choosing a …
What’s She Trying To Do, Make The Baby Look Like The Shoplifter?
I have to wonder if Crystal Whitaker went to the Shannon Cooper school of shoplifting. Whitaker was in a JCPenney store with a friend and her ten-month-old baby. The two women tried to hide a bunch of clothes in a bag and run, but were confronted. So they ran…the only thing is they left the …
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