It’s time for some theme music to set the scene. Travis Copeland was in court on some felony charges. I guess he just didn’t want to be there anymore, so got up and bolted out of the courtroom and down the skyway. He was run run runnin’ along, when he noticed that deputies were coming …
Category Archives: master criminals
There Are Two Sides To Every Story, But Only One Side Under His Shirt
I looked at this article and didn’t post it right away? What is wrong with me? I must fix this immediately. After being caught 9 times for shoplifting, you’d think Mark Zachary could come up with a better defense than “I wasn’t going to steal this giant side of meat, I was only massaging it. …
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I’m Ready For My Close-up
Ewan Brandneeds to decide if he’d rather be a model or a flasher, because trying to be both at once seems to have landed him in quite a pickle. Fiscal depute Janine Bates said: “One of the girls was hoping to do a photography course. “As part of the entrance requirements she had to complete …
If He Continues On His Crime Spree, He Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On In Court
Way to go Michael Anthony Randall Jr. Way to create a lasting reminder of the day you were a dipshit. I guess Randall decided to rob a store. He had a gun in his coveralls, but when he pulled it out, he shot himself in the ankle by accident! Then he hobbled over to a …
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Caught With His Pants Down
I saw this story before I left, but my brain was too scuttled. Then I meant to get the story up yesterday, but I couldn’t remember where I saw it, and google wasn’t helping me out. Alright, first we need a theme song. Ah, now the tone is set. Our main character, Hector Quinones, was …
Maybe Try Wearing Gloves?
Francis Viliar really didn’t want to get caught. He paid someone $400 to cut his fingers from knuckle to tip so his fingerprints would be unreadable. Too bad it didn’t work. That has gotta suck, after going through all that effort and pain, and for nothing. Not that I feel sorry for him, though.
Hungry Like The Statue
The spelling is off, but it’s too close not to include in the aptly named criminal file. Two men have been arrested and face several charges each in connection with the thefts of multiple wolf statues that are part of a public art display in the town of Abingdon, Virginia. They are brothersBascome and Ernie …
They’ll See Right Through Your Thin Disguise Alright
Next time you want to rob a place, don’t do what Michael Clough did. If you are using a veil as a disguise, make sure it’s not see-through, and don’t live really close to the place you robbed. It would also be good if you’re not well-known to police, so when they see through your …
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Family Gatherings Are Going To Be Awkward Now…
Jason Zacchi had to be on something if he thought robbing the Wendy’s where his mom worked would be a good plan. Not only did mommy dearest recognize him, and his girlfriend who was an ex employee, but where did they go after the robbery? Back to his house…which he shared with his mom. So, …
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Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Beautiful Your…Handlebars?
Not that any of you are going to want to do this, but just in case… If you’re planning on stealing a Christmas tree, under no circumstances should you: Be drunk at the time. Be riding a bicycle that you built a motor for but forgot to put lights on. Try to balance the tree …
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